I really don't mean to be so dark, but this is what's on my mind...

First of all, thanks for your prayers for the Morris family. Things with Bing continue to be very precarious. He's still in the hospital, and times are difficult for the family.

I attended the funeral for Mrs. Turner yesterday, along with several good friends. Despite the rain-soaked morning, God was indeed good. It was the celebration of a life well-lived. It is always hard to watch people you love and care for endure such pain, but it is also joyous to know that her pain on Earth is finished. They had been married for 63 years. 63 years! That just boggles my mind.

Over the course of my life, I've attended probably about the same number of funerals as I have weddings. Ok, maybe slightly more weddings once college was in full-swing, but nonetheless, I've been to my fair share of both. In the last 8 years of my life, in fact, I've been to at least 8 funerals.

Things like that always cause you to go into "introspective" mode, at least for awhile. Do I tell the people I love that I love them? Do I truly value the time that I've so graciously been given? Do I live each day to the fullest? And on, and on.

And each time, I come away resolved to change the way that I treat people, the way that I live. And unfortunately, that behavior change sticks around for about as long as New Year's resolutions do.

And each time, I start to think about how I would want my funeral done. I told my stepmother once that I wanted a party - because simply put, I'd be in heaven with Jesus and people should be excited about that. She didn't quite feel the same way, quoting Ecclesiastes 3, and reminding me that there are seasons in which to mourn. Yes, I'm fully aware of those seasons. I guess I was thinking that if there were cupcakes involved, people would get past that mourning season and right on into the dancing. I'm not trying to be flippant about this, here. Please understand. Nor am I trying to be morbid. Just putting sundry thoughts together and hoping that it's in some way coherent.

Needless to say, this week will be touch-and-go. Your thoughts and prayers are valuable. Thanks for your friendship. And if I haven't told you lately, I do care about you sincerely. Please know that.

What do you say?

My heart is heavy this morning, as I found out late last night that one of my best friends is now experiencing a very difficult loss. Her grandparents were in a horrible car accident yesterday afternoon, and her grandmother (who was in her 90's) was killed. Her grandfather is now in the ICU at a nearby hospital, but they're not sure about his condition.

I've experienced many losses in my life, but still I'm finding that sometimes there are just no words. And maybe that's for the best. I honestly don't remember what people told me during those difficult times in my life, but I do remember their faces, and the fact that they cared. I remember their hugs, and the way they provided for my family.

The same family who is going through this loss today is also the same family that basically adopted me in high school after my family experienced a difficult loss. I was literally in the cradle with their daughter, and from that point on through the next 18 years, we were practically inseparable. They were there for me and my family in ways that I can't even describe. And now it's my turn to do the same for them.

Please be praying for the Morris family today, if you have the opportunity. Thanks.

Old email doesn't lose it's flavor

I was reading some old emails today from folks in college. One of my friends gave me a quote prior to us going on a mission trip back then, and I thought it seemed swell to pass it along. So here goes:

"You should not be willing to go, and have planned to stay here, but rather, you should plan to go and be willing to stay." J.R. Vassar
I thought this was interesting. I won't get on my soapbox about the word "missions," but rather, say that having the mindset described above is tough to do. Yes, I know I'm probably romanticising the idea of spending a considerable amount of time abroad teaching and telling people about Jesus. But just let me continue, for a moment, if you will.

I've felt the hunger to "go" since my senior year in high school. No, I won't tell you how long ago that was. I had been on "mission trips" prior to that time, but had never really thought of it as a type of calling. After attending a college conference that year, God really opened me to the idea of going. Not anywhere in particular, but just going. And the next four years of life presented several opportunities to do just that.

And then came corporate America. When I was younger I really thought I wanted to be in corporate America. And I have no doubt that it was meant to be that way for a season. But when is that season over? Do I now need to pray that I would be willing to stay, though I have a desire to go? So much to think about.

"In his heart, a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9
And here I sit in my room, typing this out, contemplating life's next steps, with a flip flop resting in my lap to fend off any pesky critters that may have come in while I've had the window open. Does it get any better than this? Yes, let's hope it does.

Why am I still awake?

It's 1:00 AM and I can't sleep. If you know me at all, you know this practically never happens. Maybe the cheap gas station coffee I consumed outside of Waco about 2 hours ago is to blame? Or maybe it was the 2 hours of great conversation with my friend Kim? Or maybe I've just got a lot to think about and I don't want to face the stillness of a silent room. Whatever it is, I'm pretty much wide awake and ready to type.

I spent today saying goodbye to a girl I've known since we were literally in the crib together. She and her husband are moving to another state. She seems so much older than me - buying her second house, moving to support her husband's job, redecorating a new place. All I'm thinking about is if I have enough creamer in the fridge to make a cup of coffee in the morning. Life is strange.

I've got a lot of people on my mind right now: my students, my lifelong friends, my friends doing missions abroad, folks I knew in college but have not kept in touch with, my co-workers...and I have no idea what to do with it all but to just confess that sometimes I know not what to pray for (see Romans 8). I guess I just like to get these thoughts into words sometimes, but I have no idea if any of this makes sense. I'll now attempt to salvage the remaining hours before I get to face another day and see what He has in store.

Why am I acting like I was gone for 10 years?

It was two weeks. No more, no less. Yet my mind and my body are acting like I was out of the country for ages. My bed still seems strange, I can't find my glasses, and I had no idea how to turn off (much less get to) my alarm clock this morning. Should I be thankful that I'm not adjusting quickly? Possibly. I'll think on that some more and get back to you.

I finally hit the wall at about 2:30 yesterday. I was sitting at my desk and started to really feel bad. Not just tired, but heavy, in a way. So I thought about my options and decided to work from home for the remainder of the afternoon. Once I got home, I was glad that I had decided to leave the office, because I didn't last much longer. I slept for 2 1/2 hours, and then still had a hard time getting up. But alas, today I'm doing well. And as a bonus, I'm almost completely caught up at work. Good show!

Things I've noticed upon my return:
I now have the phrase "western toilet" in my vocabulary.
I still have to think twice before flushing toilet paper.
Meeting Christians here is just as refreshing as meeting them in Asia.
I have more foreign change in my wallet than I do American change.
I kind of miss being a visible minority.
I really missed dairy products, but have yet to partake of any ice cream.
I like saying that I was "out of the country."
There are now about 10 more books on my reading list.
I can't wait to go to church on Sunday. I should feel like this more often.
Arrested Development is as funny now as it was two weeks ago.
I missed home, but not as much as I thought I would.

471

That was the "unread email" count after 11 days off of work. Not too shabby, but then again, I'm not sure what I was expecting. Anyhow, I'm still adjusting a bit to being back at home. I slept well and have thus far, had very little effects from any jet lag. Praise God! Really, I just love typing "God" and not worrying about it being caught in some crazy governmental firewall. So please excuse me if I in any way overuse any Christian verbiage for the next while...

It was really different sleeping in a soft bed. I didn't think it would be weird, but it was. It was almost too soft and comfy. I've never thought that before, but it was just weird.

And apparently since the water hasn't been potable where I was staying, almost everyone else on the team was brushing their teeth with bottled water for the past 16 days. No one told me until we got to Los Angeles, however, and they looked at me like I was crazy when I told them I had been using tap water. Just one of those things, I guess.

I'll continue to post more, as I get a little further through the unread pile. After 2 hours, I'm down to 254 unread. Nice progress, in my opinion...

35,000 feet

Yep, I'm actually posting from over the Pacific Ocean. We're flying back from our two week outing to East Asia, heading into LAX for a brief layover before finishing our voyage. I've had a fabulous time doing God's work overseas, and I soon hope to continue that work in the future. You can be praying about how that happens...but that's a different post for a different time.

There will be more to come on this topic, to be sure, but I didn't want to miss this opportunity to be a big airborne, wireless, PDA-toting dork. Thanks, Mike. You know I couldn't do this without you, and you know I mean that as a complement.

Talk to you soon...

Be back next month

Hey folks, this will likely be my last post for awhile. I'll be sure to write about my trip upon my return. Until then, don't miss me too much...

Crime and punishment

Ok, not so much with the crime, but definitely with the punishment.

As I prepare to take my 12 days of work off (comp time + all of my vacation time), I am realizing that the word "vacation" doesn't really do this justice. Around these parts, there's definitely an indirect punishment involved when one decides to take one's vacation.

Particularly for a long vacation, you spend several days getting ready to turn things over to someone else, tying up any pertinent "loose ends," cleaning out your inbox so that it doesn't bust open like an over-full bag of groceries in your absence, taking the last pick of the various candies scattered around nearby cubicles, delegating responsibility to others to water your office plants, etc. This is a lot of time and energy (though the candy activity generates energy on its own).

Then there's the dreaded day back. You can just hear the ominous music, can't you. I most certainly can. I'm not even gone yet and I'm really not looking forward to coming back. Yeah, there's the conversations about what you did that are always fun. And seeing your friends again is great, don't get me wrong. But the moment you open your computer and your email starts filing in, you can just feel your blood pressure rising. And then you look over at your phone, and you see the powerful glow of the "Voicemail" light, shining forth boldly. Your eyes scan your desk, and no doubt, people have stopped by to pilfer your tape, post-its and stapler. And didn't you used to have plants that were alive? Yes, most certainly when you left, they were green. But alas, now they've taken a turn for the worse.

But I don't care. I'm going anyways. Just a few more hours in my fabric-covered box and I'm outdo here like something that's really outdo here.

Still counting...

Less than 32 hours before liftoff...that is, if I counted correctly.

The countdown begins

At the time of this posting, I am officially set to leave the country in about 72 hours. Ok, technically it's probably more like 78 hours, but that doesn't sound as cool. That's incredible. I haven't left the country since before 9/11, so I have no idea about the new airport security, heightened traveler nerves, and the like. All I know is not to pack nail clippers in my carry on. I can handle that.

I'm the team scribe, and thus responsible for packaging the daily events in humorous, but sincere, emails. This is a weighty responsibility, I feel, but nevertheless, I'm ready for the challenge. In my head, I tend to compose thoughts in seemingly eloquent, artistic, rich sentences. But when they come out on paper, they tend to pale in comparison to how I actually crafted them. So the task is to just write, and to write well. I think it will be a good experience. I'm imagining that there will be a lot to tell, and only a limited amount of time in which to tell it.

Wish me luck! I'm off to finish up my curriculum work this evening. I feel like a graduating college senior who has to finish one last paper before they can walk the stage. I really don't want to work on this stuff, but I know that it's for a purpose. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.

My credit card got a really good workout this weekend, in preparation for the trip. I bought some clothes, supplies, a backpack, a new Bible, and countless other things that I "need" for the trip. Ok, in all honesty, I really do need about 90% of what I bought. It's just that I bought it all at once, which probably wasn't the wisest move ever. But that's ok. It's just money. All is still well.

And if you ever need to find Texjoy steak seasoning or Purpose soap, they are available at Jason's Deli and HEB, respectively. Just something that I learned this weekend...

Would you like fries with that?

I live in a house with no ketchup. I now question the citizenship of all that abide here.

All my bags are packed

Well, not really. But that's the beginning of the song that just popped into my head. A friend of mine gave me a copy of Sinatra singing "Leaving on a jet plane" and I can just hear his crooning as I type this.

I'm getting excited about my upcoming trip. Only about 7 days to go, until I'm flying briskly over the Pacific. The largest leg of my trip will be a 14 hour plane ride, so I'm planning on taking some serious reading material. Not that the material will be of serious content, but rather, reading materials in serious quantities. I'll probably take the Chronicles of Narnia, which should be a good start. Any other plane reading suggestions?

My friend John is soon traveling to India for work. I'd like to go there someday. Two of my most fascinating friends are from India, and I've been intrigued by the culture ever since I worked with some grad students in college that hailed from that far away land.

I finished my typhoid pills last night, finally, but I guess you can't get an immunization from the travel bug. Ah, well, I'm off to bed. Sleep well, everyone.

Not so fast...

I'm in a bit of a pickle as far as knowing what to post. It's not that there's not much going on, but rather, knowing what portions to write about regarding what is going on. I'm sure in due time, it will all come together. I just need to be patient and see how it all materializes.

I know that experiencing God's peace is like no other thing on earth. And for that, I'm quite thankful. Knowing that, decisions (although difficult to make) that honor His desires above our own are far more eternally valuable than those that seek to give satisfaction to our selfish needs of security, happiness and pride. I also know that getting over something is not nearly as valuable as getting through something. And that only happens in God's timing.

So that's all for now. I leave you with something that was said at church on Sunday. I've believed for quite sometime that most (if not all) sin is ultimately tied to pride. Our pastor quoted something that went like this: "Independence from God is the only sin." That's probably not word for word, but it's close and my sermon notes aren't with me right now.

How often do I consciously seek independence from God? Who knows. But how often does it subtly play in daily life? Countless times.

That which is common to man

I've been thinking a lot about sin lately. I meet with a group of girls on Sunday evenings to go through a study on Titus 2. Last week we talked about purity, which led to a discussion about sin, which led to a discussion about temptation. The verse (I think it was supposed to be our memory verse) that has stuck with me all week, thus giving me the title for my entry: 1 Corinthians 10:13. "No temptation has seized you except that which is common to man." For some reason that's just been resonating in my head all week. Yet, as for it making a difference in the way I act, I've been failing pitifully.

Last night, for example, I had a lengthy phone conversation. Towards the end of the conversation, I just started to become really unresponsive and lethargic, which is pretty unloving to the person on the other end of the line, no matter who it happens to be. The conversation basically deteriorated into both of us being frustrated. I went to bed thinking about how unloving that was of me, and woke up with the same feeling.

When I woke up, the passage that came to my mind was Romans 7. I first remember really digesting this text during a mission trip on Spring break of my senior year in college. It was a rather long road trip from Colorado to Texas, and I got into a conversation about the text with some of my fellow van riders. In that passage, Paul wrestles with something I feel that we all do - the battle between desiring to do that which is good, but failing to carry it out. Read on...

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is the sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So I find the law at work: when I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

I couldn't have put it any better. I earnestly want to drive to work calmly and peacefully, and I wind up road raging like a maniac. I really want to speak to people with a loving tone of voice, and I wind up mired in frustration and impatience. Thanks be to God, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Someone pointed out that Paul, whenever he references his own sin, is quick to also reference his salvation through Christ. Too often I stop at just recognizing my own sin, and I get stuck there. I need to learn to also recognize the forgiveness I've been given.

Do you feel as un-cool as I do?

I get bored sometimes. I guess we all do. My current solution to this problem is to read other people's blogs. When I initially set this one up, I just started clicking on the "Next Blog" link. However, the items that I stumbled upon weren't really along the lines of what I was wanting to read.

So I started going to the links that other friends had on their pages. Several weeks later, I have 19 pages bookmarked under a category I lovingly refer to as "Random Blogs." It's a good way to use that 5 minutes of downtime in between meetings that would otherwise go towards daydreaming or email checking. So I feel creatively productive.

But one common theme among many of the authors: they all talk about how they have nothing to talk about. They do this at least once, but I'm sure that feeling hits them at least semi-frequently. It's practically an epidemic of feeling inferior to other authors out there. There are articles about how to write a better blog. There are pages dedicated to how to put fancy spinning pictures on your blog to make it niftier (is that a word?).

But still the struggle of feeling uncreative continues. I, too, struggle with this. How open do I want to be? How much of my life do I want to share? If I put opinions out there, what if someone disagrees? Better to not put any opinions out there....I convince myself.

But one of the very reasons I registered this here space was to put thoughts "on paper" - to express the spaghetti thoughts (thanks Mandy!) that pile up in the giant bowl that is my brain. Have I accomplished that? Maybe. Has it been as creative as I'd like it to be? Not really, but does that make it bad? Not necessarily. So I guess I'll keep going. Maybe I just need to pretend like no one reads this (hmm, does anyone read this?). It would feel more anonymous if I thought no one did. Don't get me wrong, if you're reading this, I'm glad that you do. But if I'm really going to put real, honest thoughts on here, it might be better to pretend like you're not there.

I've been told several times by several people that are close to me, that it's hard to get me to be open emotionally. There are probably a multitude of reasons for that, but no one really to blame except for myself. Am I emotional? Sure, we all are. I even had to put tissues in my car the other day for this very reason. But I don't necessarily feel the need to talk about those emotions all the time. I guess because it feels weak, it feels like I would be burdening others with my thoughts, and it feels like no one else should really give a flip. But I know that's not true, because I enjoy it when people around me do the very thing I can't. I love to hear about what's going on in their lives, how they feel, what they've been up to.

I was asked last night by a friend how I was doing, what was going on in my life. I honestly couldn't come up with much to say, though at the same time, there was indeed much to say. I told him about work, about stress, and about my upcoming trip. But I still felt really closed and I couldn't get around my own roadblock.

So sometimes, we don't have anything to say. And I guess it should feel ok to say that.

You: Hey, what have you been up to lately?
Me: Not much. Just taking Typhoid pills. How about you?
You: Eh, not much.

Does that sound boring? Yep. Pretty much. But that's life right now and I'm ok with that.

Rant about my job...

I've been sad at work lately. I honestly think that I *may* be getting an ulcer, but that wouldn't be so fun. And I may be a bit of a hypochondriac….but nevertheless, my stomach really hurts when I get stressed out. I know I'm not supposed to be anxious (Phil. 4), but it comes and goes.

I'm sad because I see people making decisions and commitments that directly impact the well-being and "work / life balance" of other people. And I think that I've become one of the people who is making those decisions. Or maybe it just feels like I am…the verdict is still out.
There's a system that's supposed to work. We're supposed to trade things off. But I've been stripped of all of my supposed leverage.

Ideal Situation:
Me: "You want A and B, but I can only give you A or B. Not both."
You: "Well, it's true that I do want both A and B. But B is more important, so I want B."
Me: "Deal."

The way it really tends to work:
Me: "You want A and B, but I can only give you A or B. Not both."
You: "Well, I HAVE TO HAVE A AND B."
Me: "I understand your needs, but we can only do so much with what we have. Please pick either A or B. I can't give you both."
You: "I HAVE TO HAVE BOTH A AND B. I'LL ESCALATE TO MANAGEMENT TO GET IT."
Me: "Ok. Please feel free to call management and we'll discuss tradeoffs."
Management (addressing me): "What kind of tradeoffs do we need to make?"
Me: "I can only give them A or B, not both."
Management: "Get them to make a tradeoff."
Me: "I tried that. They say they need to have both."
Management: "They can't have both."
Me: "I know."
You: "IF WE DON'T GET BOTH THEN THE COMPANY WILL GO IN THE TOILET."
Me: "So we have no choice?"
You: "No."
Me: "I'm sad." (realizing that because of what just transpired, 3 people have to work overtime to accomplish A and B.

My cd player

I heard this on the way to work today, and I really enjoyed it:

What e'er my God ordains is right.
Holy His will abideth.
I will be still what e'er He does,
and follow where He guideth.
He is my God, though dark my road.
He holds me that I shall not fall.
Wherefore to Him I leave it all.

What e'er my God ordains is right.
He never will deceive me.
He leads me by the proper path,
I know He will not leave me.
I take content, what He hath sent.
His hand can turn my griefs away,
And patiently I wait His day.

What e'er my God ordains is right.
Though now this cup in drinking
May bitter seem to my faint heart,
I take it all unshrinking.
My God is true, each morn anew.
Sweet comfort yet shall fill my heart,
And pain and sorrow shall depart.

What e'er my God ordains is right,
Here shall my stand be taken.
Though sorrow, need or death be mine,
Yet I am not forsaken.
My Father's care, is round me there.
He holds me that I shall not fall,
And so to Him I leave it all.

You should check out the cd.

Take the plunge

Deep in the heart of Texas

That's where I've spent the last day or so. A group of us that will soon depart to the other hemisphere decided that we needed to bond a bit, and what better place to bond than the middle of nowhere? This might be a long post, but a lot happened, and I'll try to make it worth your while to stick with the whole story.

Literally, the directions to even get there were something like, "Once you get on the dirt road, stay to the right. Cross the dry creek bed, and proceed on the dirt road. After the road turns into a gravel road, turn hard to the left. Then it becomes a grass road, go up a hill, then a sharp turn the the left. You'll see two gates..."

So we were hoping to get there around 8, and we kind of did. We got to the gate at 8 (I didn't intend for that to rhyme...). Anyhow, the gate had 3 locks on it. One rotary combo lock, one "girlscout" combo lock (the kind where you pick 4 numbers and align them correctly), and one Masterlock key lock. We had a combination for the girlscout lock, but apparently, not the right combination. We tried for a few minutes (about 20 or so), since everyone we called about it was difficult to reach (cell phone are no bueno when you're in the middle of nowhere).

So we hiked to the house, while looking for two things along the way: 1) the breaker box for the electricity and 2) the spot to turn the water on. We made it to the cabin after about a 10 minute walk. The landscape was beautiful - tall pine trees, filling the air with a fresh aroma of raw nature.

When we got to the cabin, the instructions to actually find the key were also a bit convoluted. "On the chimney, go up 3 big rocks. You'll see a fist-sized rock, and under it will be the key." Right. We searched that darn chimney for about 20 minutes, while rapidly losing daylight.

So I went around the back with a few others to see if we could find "alternate" routes into the structure. There happened to be a screen door with a tiny hole (i.e. the size of my tiny chicken wing of an arm), so I reached through and tried to unlock it. MacGyver must have been the last person through the house, because there was no getting in.

Recap - it's getting dark; 3 cars are about a 10 minute walk from the cabin; they are behind a gate that we can't get open; and we're trying to break into a cabin in the woods.

One of the team members made it half way up the chimney, climbing up the jagged rocks that poke out from all side in all angles. He picks up a rock, and voila - the key! So we're now into the cabin. And wow, I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't this. My first instinct, as an avid insect lover (liberally using heavy sarcasm) was to scan the room for creatures that have more than 2 legs. Almost immediately, I saw the biggest spider I've ever seen. It had a "funnel web" which apparently means bad news. So we started to consider how to kill it, and it immediately scurries into a folded up camping chair. That chair rapidly made it out to the woods, spider in tow.

So I started looking around a bit more. We found 2 more large spiders, one of which we aptly named "Big Momma." Why did we name it Big Momma? Well, it was about the size of a small Eurpoean car, but it had a web, and multiple eyes/legs. We decided that our best weapon, aside from an armored military vehicle, was the shop vac that happened to be in the "living room." We sucked those spiders right up, but not before I snapped some crazy arachnid pictures!

Recap - we got into the cabin; we found multiple large spiders (which we think might be Brown Recluses); we sucked two of those spiders up with a shopvac and threw one out into the woods; it's getting dark; 3 cars are about a 10 minute walk from the cabin; and they are behind a gate that we can't get open.

Brilliant! So while some of the team members readied the house (i.e. vacuumed up all the spiders), the rest of us went back down to the gate. We had two flashlights and a really sweet (nerdy) headlamp, a toolkit and a whole lotta team spirit. We worked on that darn gate for a good 45 minutes. We tried every combination known to man, we tried taking the gate off the hinges....but alas, no gate.

Until...the same guy who found the key earlier had come down with the rest of the crew. He went to work on the girlscout lock and just started incrementing numbers one at a time. After about 30 minutes or so, voila! Open lock - open gate!

We finally made it to the "clean" cabin about 2 1/2 hours after we first got there. How's that for teambuilding!

The night was toasty, but not unbearable. The girls slept upstairs (in the spider den), and the men were downstairs. I kept waking up paranoid that I was being crawled upon. But things were fine, for the most part. The grossest thing, by far, happened in the morning when I was getting ready. I pulled out my toothbrush from my toiletries bag, but realized that in order to make it down the very precarious stairs, I needed both hands. So I put the non-brush end in my mouth. AHHHHHHH! I spit something out very quickly. At first it looked like black fuzz. But nope, it was a dead spider.

oh.my.goodness.

That's about the most disgusting thing that has happened to me in the past 9 years.

Sure. I can handle using nature as a bathroom. No problem there. I can handle a variety of other ailments or inconveniences. But a huge dead spider in my mouth? Take me out and shoot me.

Other than that, it was pretty uneventful for the most part. But I'm getting really excited about the trip...

These things are dumb

But if you need to waste 5 minutes of your downtime at work, then give it a try. Here are my results, not that they are hugely accurate or anything. I figured I slanted on the Reformed side of things, but I honestly don't know much about what Methodists belive. I think I'll stick with where I am....

Anyhow, take it with a grain of salt:

You scored as Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan. You are an evangelical in the Wesleyan tradition. You believe that God's grace enables you to choose to believe in him, even though you yourself are totally depraved. The gift of the Holy Spirit gives you assurance of your salvation, and he also enables you to live the life of obedience to which God has called us. You are influenced heavly by John Wesley and the Methodists. Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 64% Reformed Evangelical 64% Fundamentalist 64% Neo orthodox 61% Emergent/Postmodern 50% Classical Liberal 39% Roman Catholic 29% Charismatic/Pentecostal 29% Modern Liberal 21% What's your theological worldview?

Houston, we have a problem

I guess I'm just jaded, or polite, but I didn't really think that people honestly conducted business on the phone while taking care of business.

I took a trip to the ladies room today at work to discover that in the stall next to me was a woman who was on the phone. "Maybe she's talking to a friend?" I thought to myself. I know a few girls who do that, though I'm not one of them....my roommate, on the other hand...

Anyhow, so the conversation continued, and I'm sorry, but I couldn't help overhear that they were indeed talking about work (and she was talking to a man! Though even if a woman had been on the other end of the phone, I would have still been slightly appalled). She was having a meeting while going to the bathroom. Am I the only one who thinks this is odd? Or maybe a bit impolite?

Granted, I have worn flip flops to work before. I have worn jeans with an apparent tear in them, unintentionally. But I think those things pale in comparison to this event. Multitasking, yes. Professional, no.

Practice makes perfect

For my upcoming trip to East Asia, I figured it might be good to break out some bargaining, in hopes to be ready to possibly haggle for random street goods at any point during the trip. So I put my meager skills to the initial test last night.

Let it be known, folks at the Dell Diamond do not haggle.

But I gave it a shot anyways. I found out that there's at least a 50 cent margin on funnel cakes.

I also found out that lions don't always eat people. Hmm. Who knew?

Please don't, seriously

I have apparently misplaced my check card. I didn't discover this until I was next in line to pay for my lunch at a dining establishment earlier today. Upon writing my check, the cashier, a man who could not have been more than 5 years older than me, said in a snooty/cool voice:

"I'm gonna need to see a current address and phone number, sweetheart."

Seriously, you're 30. I'm not 12, nor am I 65. You can call me "miss," but not "ma'am," and certainly not "sweetheart." Take my check, hand me my food, and don't make cutsie talk about my beverage selection.

Deal?

Single mom

I babysat yesterday for three of my cousins. They range in age from 4-11. Two young boys (4 & 5) and one older girl. It was quite an adventure, I'll tell you that.

Highlights:

• Watching the 4 year old giggle with excitement during "Madagascar"
• Seeing an elderly woman in the popcorn line look at me with a loving expression as I asked the 4 year old to be patient and stand in line with me
• Being encouraged in the Ladies room by a 12 year old who thought that the two small boys I had brought in there were mine. (She told me I was doing a good job, after I explained that I was babysitting)

Lowlights:

• Pulling the car over on the road to break up a fight that took place between the two gentlemen in the backseat over the mini-gameboy (Note: Let it be known that if I ever have kids, I will try my darndest to keep small electronic toys as far away from their tiny little hands as possible)
• Seeing the 4 year old bean the 5 year old in the face with a softball (Note: Let it be known that this was a total accident, but resulted in a sizeable tantrum)
• Bedtime (Note: It was entertaining watching the kids try pulling out every excuse in the book hoping to extend their hours of consciousness into the wee hours of the morning)

All in all, it was a fun evening. I think most people in the movie theater and crowded restaurant thought that I was a single parent (who apparently had my first child while I was in Jr. High). I got a lot of "Oooh, sorry for you, hun" looks from the good 'ol boys who were eating their seafood. And the ticket taker (cool high school boy) had zero patience with me as I ordered my tickets while chasing a preschooler around the sidewalk. I think I even caught an eye-roll. Lovely.

But the woman in the concession line seemed genuinely pleased that I used loving discipline to teach patience to the little guy who was trying his best to escape into the crowded theater. She had a kind look on her face. Or at least, that's how I took it. Come to think of it, it might have been more of a "bless your heart" (i.e. you poor girl). Either way, it made me smile.

Now what?

If you've been following my recent home renovation saga, I have a new chapter to write. I've been without a desk for quite awhile - over a year at this point. So I've been keeping an eye out for one, but not pursuing anything seriously (sounds like a relationship...scary).

My roommate sent me a link to this desk and I found that it would suit the space in my room rather well. It was supposed to be delivered either yesterday or today, so I was getting excited. But when I got home yesterday - no desk.

But I guess UPS is like Santa, because when I walked outside this morning to leave for work, a giant box with the word "desk" on it was sitting in my yard. No note. No cookies or milk. Just a box in my yard. So I lugged it up to my room and assembled it swiftly, as I was excited about new furniture.

The desk, if you will notice, also doubles as an "entry table." This wasn't particularly an added bonus for me, but it's good to know. It's also good to know that because of that fact, it's a bit on the tall side. So now my desk chair (borrowed from my roomie) is slightly dwarfed by the table/desk. So I'm now apparently in the market for a desk chair. Yeah me.

Lesson learned - set aside some cash. It's the snowball effect, I've found, that happens with home decor. First it was the bedframe, then the primer, then the paint, then the pillows, then the desk. And now the chair.

Repeat to self:
...I can quit anytime...
...I can quit anytime...
...I can quit anytime...

To quote John Mayer...

Quarter-life crisis: I think that they do, in fact, happen.

Not that I'm going to buy a fancy sports car or anything...although I did recently see a beautiful '65 Porsche.

Repeat to self:

...you do not need a new car...

...you do not need a new car...

...you do not need a new car...

Trendy things in a trendy town

I found myself sipping decaf coffee at a lakeside coffee shop last night, surrounded by students, nerds, and hippies. I'm not sure what category I fit in - it probably depends on the day. I arrived with the objective to complete my homework for a new Bible study in which I'm participating. A group of us gals is starting to study Titus 2, in regards to becoming a Godly woman and in order to better understand the role that God created us for.

It was a good time to just sit, be still, and read the Word. It was more like a Bible drill, hopping to and fro throughout both the Old and New Testaments, but I enjoyed the variety of scripture that they brought into the mix.

I did in fact complete the homework, for which I was thankful. One thing off my plate for the week. Several other things to go.

One an ickier note, I got immunized yesterday. I am deathly afraid of shots, so I was dreading the appointment. I was pleasantly surprised, however, throughout the entire experience. It became blatantly obvious that I have no clue about my medical history, and apparently, my medical records are filed away in a warehouse of sorts. So, I'm banking on the fact that I'm up to date with all of that mess, since finding out would be quite a task.

The travel nurse was so nice, and I honestly barely felt the shot. I only got Hep A, and I was thankful that there wasn't anything else that she had to do. The fun will continue, however, after I go to pick up my Typhoid pills. I've heard that those aren't the most fun things in the world, but it's got to be more fun than actually getting Typhoid. Sign me up!

Weekend updates

This weekend was quite productive, from a "nesting" point of view. I helped my roommate paint our downstairs a bit. Both the living room and the entryway have fresh splashes of color! Fun stuff!

The one wall in our entryway is now a yellowish color. Sounds icky, but really looks great. It'll look even better once we get a new key-hanger-thingy. Our little black cabinet looks really good against it.

The living room is now partially cranberry red. Just 3 walls are red, so the other 2 are still white-ish. Yes, not quite white, as we found out while trying to touch it up. Oh well, it still looks awesome, in my opinion.

The next room to go will be the tiny downstairs 1/2 bath. We're thinking kind of an apple green, namely because that's the spare paint that some of our friends have lying around. Should be neat.

We're trying to get our third roommate to paint her room, though finding a color might be tough. She's got a stinkin' huge room, but she also has very bright colored furniture. It'll be challenging, but we're confident that there is much progress to be made. Keep you posted.....

By the way, I ordered a desk online from Target today. There was "free shipping," so I clicked the little button next to "1 day shipping." Yeah, that basically more than doubled the price of the desk. So I went back and clicked the "3-5 day shipping." That's the shipping that was free.

Amended advertising: "Free shipping on really, really slow stuff." Though granted, that's not as catchy as "Free shipping."

How was your weekend?

Whistle while I work

I've lived in my room for about a year now. Within that time, I dismantled my previous bed (leaving my bed on the floor), rearranged the furniture once, and hung 3 pictures. It was pretty sad and barren, longing for someone to come and dress it up a bit.

So after a chat with my more color-adventurous roommate, I decided that some changes were needed. I bought a bed frame, which made a huge difference. I also decided to paint a wall. And I've been at it for several days now.

The color? Dressage Red. You can check it out here (just scroll down past the grays), but it's a little brighter in-person. Yeah, bright is the right word I guess.

Apparently to paint a white wall red, you need a swift talking to by the paint guy at Home Depot. So after a counseling session at the paint desk, I set off to start the process. One coat of dark pink primer on Sunday. One coat of Dressage Red on Tuesday night. Another coat before heading off to work this morning.

It's starting to take shape. I figure I may need a touch-up here and there, but overall, I'm pleased. I've only spilled on the carpet once (in my haste this morning), but I got most of it up (and my bed goes over that spot anyways). No worries.

...though I probably should have asked my landlord first...

(For those of you that saw the Chinese Red wall in my previous apartment, it's quite simliar....)

Sheer talent

There's something about seeing talented people express their gifts. It just moves me. I become like a proud parent, watching them on stage, or hearing them read, or taking in their work. Tears well up within me to see people I may or may not know just being who they were created to be (whether or not they know they were created to be just that!).

So last night I went to a CD release party. Yes, I feel hip saying that...."CD release party." But let me remind you, just yesterday I was dismantling a 3 year old laptop for fun. "Hip" is not something that I'm familiar with.

Anyhow, it was at said party that I, once again, got that proud parent feeling. A friend of a friend was releasing her debut album, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. She's a cute, funky, young Asian girl who can play the guitar quite well. Though the venue was small and loud, her voice still cut through the air straight to you. Crisp, clean, powerful yet restrained.

I bought a CD.
You should too.
Buy a CD from Betty Soo.

My life as a techie

My laptop has been "running hot" lately. So hot, in fact, that I cooked dinner on the bottom of it last night. It's also been rather cross with me lately, beeping at me when it starts up, screaming about some #M1004 error code, and running his fans WAY too loud. I told him to never use that language with me again, or it might cost him a serious time out.

Well, he was at it again today, beeping and sreaming, letting off steam. So I let him have it. I came to work today with a mini-screwdriver in hand. And use it I did!

I started ripping screws apart, pulling off brackets and plates, prying at things with scissors so that they would pop off. My goal in this endeavor? I wanted to clean the heatsink. Do I know what a heatsink look like, or where it's even located in the computer? Not really. But I figured that taking the thing apart one small screw at a time was better than nothing.

I carefully set aside a piece of paper on my desk, with the different parts labeled as they were on the computer: "A" parts here, "K" parts there, and so on. I also wound up with a "Random" pile, which wound up being quite useful.

I realized I was in over my head when I couldn't get the monitor or the hinges back in place. I also realized that the more I jammed things and snapped things, the more tiny pieces of plastic shot off in random directions.

So after about 30-45 minutes, I realized I was putting the hinges on backwards. Right. I got it all back together and gave it another try. Upon turning it back on, he still beeped at me, but his fans were slightly more subdued. Mission accomplished?

Without ceasing

At the prompting of the "Paul" in my life, I'm trying out a new book for a devotional. It's by Charles Spurgeon, an English preacher from the 19th century. Anyhow, I'm reading through his "Morning and Evening" and God is really using it to both challenge and encourage me.

Here's a copy of this morning's entry:

"In looking back upon the character of our prayers, if we do it honestly, we shall be filled with wonder that God has ever answered them. There may be some who think their prayers worthy of acceptance-as the Pharisee did; but the true Christian, in a more enlightened retrospect, weeps over his prayers, and if he could retrace his steps he would desire to pray more earnestly. Remember, Christian, how cold thy prayers have been. When in thy closet thou shouldst have wrestled as Jacob did; but instead thereof, thy petitions have been faint and few-far removed from that humble, believing, persevering faith, which cries, 'I will not let thee go except thou bless me.' Yet, wonderful to say, God has heard these cold prayers of thine, and not only heard, but answered them. Reflect also, how infrequent have been thy prayers, unless thou hast been in trouble, and then thou hast gone often to the mercy-seat: but when deliverance has come, where has been thy constant supplication? Yet, notwithstanding thou hast ceased to pray as once thou didst, God has not ceased to bless. When thou hast neglected the mercy-seat, God has not deserted it, but the bright light of the Shekinah has always been visible between the wings of the cherubim. Oh! it is marvellous that the Lord should regard those intermittent spasms of importunity which come and go with our necessities. What a God is he thus to hear the prayers of those who come to him when they have pressing wants, but neglect him when they have received a mercy; who approach him when they are forced to come, but who almost forget to address him when mercies are plentiful and sorrows are few. Let his gracious kindness in hearing such prayers touch our hearts, so that we may henceforth be found 'Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit.'"

In thinking back over my personal walk with Christ through the years, these words do ring true indeed. How much more readily to I run to Him in times of crisis versus times of peace and celebration.

Do you find these observations to be true in your own life?

Use the force

I was on a conference call for work. It pertained to a fundraiser that we're putting on later this week. We were initially going to have a cardboard cutout of the CEO for people to take a cheezy picture with.

However, the corporate offices wouldn't let us do that. So instead, someone had the idea to get a Star Wars figure for the pictures. The discussion began about who might have a Star Wars character readily accessible. It went something like this:

Person 1: "How do we get a Star Wars character there?"
Person 2: "I don't know. What about a costume?"
Person 1: "We should as the developer guys - they're fanatics!"
Person 2: "Yeah, they might even have a statue!"

Not to stereotype or anything...

The armpit of Texas

This weekend was all sorts of goodness. Except for the fact that I was in the geographical armpit of Texas. Yep, the Houston/Galveston section of this great state is just a little too damp and smelly for my taste. However, some of my most favorite people live down there, so I decided to forego my aversion to humidity and traffic and spend some quality time with them. It was well worth it.

Signs that life is moving faster than I realized:

• Last Saturday, the girl I spent two years sharing a room with got a brand new, shiny diamond ring for her left hand
• Last Monday, a girl I spent a year living with (and several years serving with) found out that she is going to be a mommy in February
• This Saturday, a boy I spent several years making fun of (for being exceptionally pretty) became a husband
• This morning I got to my desk and my bamboo plant was sprouting another leaf

Ahh, yes. Life - it's good to be reminded of progress every now and then. Best of luck to all of you with big life news! I love each of you dearly...

I'm a slacker

Sorry kids, I've been slacking off on this here online journal. So to catch you up on what's been going on....

The personality tests keep on coming. We were asked to take the Myers-Briggs test for our church leadership group. I've taken this test before, and have previously scored as an ENTJ or an ENFJ. An ENTJ is a Fieldmarshal (Rational), and an ENFJ is a Teacher (Idealist). However, this time I scored as a ESFJ, a Provider (Guardian). Apparently, I arrange for the health and welfare of others. That's ironic, as I'm currently fighting off some respiratory crud that's been attacking me for the past few days.

So, I'm about all finished with personality tests. I've taken 5 in the last 4 weeks, and that's enough for me. I'm now fully analyzed. I can now be described in a multitude of adjectives that PhD students use in normal conversation. Hooray for me!

Work is work. Sometimes work is fun, but if work were fun all the time, they'd probably have to rename it.

What else...hmmm...I'm trying the NyQuil/DayQuil combination of medication. I really dislike the way that it tastes. Some people seem to enjoy it, but those people are weird.

And I recently found out that I'll be in another wedding. Congratulations Julie!!!

And then it hit me

First of all - welcome any new readers we may have picked up here at "chynmburli." A fine welcome to you indeed. I hope you enjoy your stay. Please feel free to post comments, as our staff will attend to any needs you may have.

Now, on with the show.

By now, most of you recognize that I am an ogre. Most of you, in fact, have probably just been waiting for me to recognize that I am indeed an ogre. And now we officially have the test results to prove it.

I'm kidding, of course. There is no greater humor than that of self-deprecation. And I'm no stranger to that. It has earned me many a dollar in my seasoned career. Ok, well, maybe not, but it's fun to make people smile at least.

To those of you who realize that I can be a hostile, inhibited, depressive, nervous human being - thanks for your patience. To those of you who think I must have swapped test results with some tribal warlord of a far off jungle, thanks for your support.

(Now let me take a minute to attempt to be less "inhibited" than I apparently am wired to be): I got a "C" in my freshman psychology class. It was the first "C" I had ever received (the recent test results also indicated that I'm an over-achiever, and a proud one at that). And I remember thinking that my professor, who strangely reminded me of a lab rat (and I mean that in the nicest of ways), spent too much time professing on the boring side of psychology (numbers, means, sample sizes, zzzzzzzz - sorry, I must have dozed off) and not enough time on the fun stuff - the personality stuff (thus, the poor grade). I am fascinated by that stuff. Birth order, Keirsey Temperaments, Myers-Briggs, Right-brained / Left-brained.....It's neat.

Until it grasps you in its claws and you have no choice but to submit to its painfully honest assessment of the type of person you are.

But no claws for me, thanks. I'm fine the way I am. Yes, even if I'm apparently hostile, depressed and nervous, I'm ok with that. Why? Because I am more than dots on a piece of paper. More than a line charted on a graph indicating that I'm WAY outside of the "normal" range. I don't want to be normal. That's boring. Chart my line wherever you want, and I'll look at the graph and chuckle, knowing that Taylor Johnson and his test can't box me in.

I've quoted him before, and I'll do it again. Funny how this was yesterday's posting:

"If Jesus ever commanded us to do something that He was unable to equip us to accomplish, He would be a liar. And if we make our own inability a stumbling block or an excuse not to be obedient, it means that we are telling God that there is something which He has not yet taken into account. Every element of our own self-reliance must be put to death by the power of God. The moment we recognize our complete weakness and our dependence upon Him will be the very moment that the Spirit of God will exhibit His power."

Thank you, Lord, that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

In a nutshell

Nervous

• Tense, high-strung, fearful, inability to concentrate, undue worry, excessive worry about health
• Vulnerable to noise and time pressure, confused easily, has loss of composure
• Excessive smoking, eating drinking, and nervous mannerisms; piles up problems
• Contributes to depression, inability to cope

Depressive

• Pessimistic, discouraged, dejected, apathetic, despondent, disillusioned
• Dwells on past problems and misfortunes, and assumes the future will be the same; emotional and physical exhaustion, contemplates suicide
• Feelings of being unwanted, of not belonging, of being unimportant, of being unappreciated; fearful, easily upset by criticism
• Easily discouraged due to lack of self-confidence or sense of inferiority
• Depression tends to damage or destroy the sense of well-being and lowers potential social, scholastic, and job effectiveness; reduces hope, ambition and motivation

Inhibited

• Restrained, unresponsive or repressed behavior
• Inability to express tender feelings

Objective

• Fair-minded, reasonable and logical
• Able to be analytical, impartial, dispassionate and not to be overly introspective or preoccupied with internal doubts and fears

Dominant

• Confident, assertive and competitive
• Ego-strength, in the sense of self-assurance, confidence and leadership
• Able to influence others, or the desire to influence or change the thinking of others
• Shows initiative; to be firm, definite, emphatic; to be competitive; to speak in public and enjoy the challenge of a debate; and to stand up for one's rights

Hostile

• Critical, argumentative and punitive
• Tendency to be critical, thoughtless or overtly inconsiderate
• Inclination to be impatient, sarcastic, angry, argumentative, unreasonable; as well as the existence of hostile attitudes or reactions to others, an intolerance of weakness in others, and a superior, overbearing attitude and manner

That's right. Don't mess with me.




But the good news is that my CDs came yesterday. Fun!

Traffic stinks

One of the many reasons my commercial driver's license is not frequently used for its intended purpose: Cows

This would most certainly not have been pretty. But it does bring to mind several jokes about cows. I could be crass and start you off with a "why did the cow cross the road" joke, but I'll spare you.

Weekend Update

In review, this was a good weekend. Enough "up" time and enough "down" time. I got to spend time with family and friends both days, which always makes me smile. We also had no Sunday morning church, but opted, instead, to have an evening service. Going into the weekend, I didn't think that schedule change would be so big, but it made the weekend feel so much longer! Bonus!

By 11:30 AM on Sunday, I had done the following: woken up, made coffee, had my quiet time, swept the living room, swept the kitchen, swept the laundry room, done 2 loads of laundry, taken the dog on a walk, showered, readied myself for lunch, and read a chapter in a book. I felt really good about all of that!

Weekend highlights:

• Breakfast with my grandma
• Organized a friend's linen closet
• Lunch with parents
• Made some progress in my book
• My CDs (here and here) shipped from Amazon
• Played spades - got schooled
• Really productive Sunday morning
• Quality time with guitar + boyfriend
• Tried a new coffee drink - yum!

And, if that wasn't enough, I saw a hot air balloon on the way to work today. It made me smile. I'm not sure why, but it did.

All in all, a good weekend. How was yours?

Goals, and such

It's that time of year, here in cube-city. Time to take a moment and fill out the online form denoting what your short-term, mid-term and long-term career goals are. They are due by the end of the day today, and as would be expected, I haven't really started mine yet.

Why?

Because I loathe this sort of thing. It's not that I don't like setting goals. I do, at least sometimes I do. Like right now I have a goal to finish a couple of books in a couple of weeks. I'm fine with that goal.

But when it comes to putting something on paper describing where you want to be in your job in 3 years? Yowzer! Not a fan!

I also don't know how this fits with Scripture. One verse that pops in my head is Proverbs 19:21, "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." And then in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."

Why can't I just put that in my plan?

On a lighter note - we're having an "offsite" today. Going to a local theater that lets you order food while you watch the movie. Good stuff. Not sure what we're seeing, but at least it's getting us out of the office.

The answers

1. Don't pay the water bill.
2. A box of quackers.

Granted, I'm not a huge fan of the first one. But the second one, now that's quality!

More than a song...

I attended a church leadership meeting last night for our college and career ministry. At said meeting, we got into a rather lengthy discussion about worship. Granted, I'm absolutely sure that everyone in that room knows that there is more to worship than song, but our topic kept coming back to our music. I, too, forget that there is more than one way to worship God.

In fact, just thinking about the topic of worship in general brings my mind to Romans chapter 12:

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

So I went looking, and really liked what good, ol' Oswald Chambers had to say on the matter, reflecting on some Old Testament passages in Genesis and Exodus:

"Worship is giving God the best that He has given you. Be careful what you do with the best you have. Whenever you get a blessing from God, give it back to Him as a love-gift. Take time to meditate before God and offer the blessing back to Him in a deliberate act of worship. If you hoard it for yourself, it will turn into spiritual dry rot, as the manna did when it was hoarded (see Exodus 16:20 ). God will never allow you to keep a spiritual blessing completely for yourself. It must be given back to Him so that He can make it a blessing to others...

"The lasting value of our public service for God is measured by the depth of the intimacy of our private times of fellowship and oneness with Him. Rushing in and out of worship is wrong every time — there is always plenty of time to worship God. Days set apart for quiet can be a trap, detracting from the need to have daily quiet time with God. That is why we must "pitch our tents" where we will always have quiet times with Him, however noisy our times with the world may be. There are not three levels of spiritual life— worship, waiting, and work. Yet some of us seem to jump like spiritual frogs from worship to waiting, and from waiting to work. God’s idea is that the three should go together as one. They were always together in the life of our Lord and in perfect harmony. It is a discipline that must be developed; it will not happen overnight."

Just a thought...

You knew these were coming...

As soon as you heard that I got a replenishment of Laffy Taffy...

I'll post some of the jokes, and then let y'all duke it out to see if you can figure out the amusing answers:

• How do you keep water from running?


• What do you get when you put six ducks in a box?

I'll post more later. This is just to wet your appetite.

Man, I'm careless

I had typed this good, solid post, and then apparently clicked my way out of this here site and lost the whole thing. Many, many apologies. Just take my word for it, it was unbelievably amazing.

I know I've been a slacker about writing (or rather, NOT writing). Again, many apologies. I know you've all been missing your kimmie updates.

• Camera update: I ordered prints of a few pictures. They turned out really good. I'm still pleased with my purchase


• Tumultuous: Recent corporate re-org and now I have a new boss. Recent director resignation, and now I don't know what will happen to any of my projects. Recent College/Career pastoral shift to another state, and now we have no specific pastoral leadership for a few months. All in all, lots of unanswered questions, but an increased opportunity to trust God. No complaints here...at least not yet


• Candy: I re-stocked my Laffy Taffy stash, and also picked up some Peanut Butter M&Ms. Candy makes me smile sometimes.
  

That's all for now. I'll try to be better about keeping this thing up-to-date. Thanks for holding me accountable!

Long lost entry

--Found the lost post--

Over the past few days, it seems that my dear audience has been practically begging me to post. Ok fine - I give in. Here's a few thoughts, pieced together from my mind as I sit here at work on a conference call. Yes, I'm busy earning my paycheck. Promise.

I've dubbed this week "bonus week" - the last week of every corporate quarter, during which all beverages in my particular building are free. Yes, not a penny was squandered on my trip down to the cafe this morning to get my caffeine fix. It's a lovely thing, sipping bland coffee for free. And there are four more opportunities for me to do so this week! Just a little corporate "Thank You" I suppose. I'm equally looking forward to the free Diet Dr. Pepper I may go get for lunch....mmmmmm!

I'm currently reading a book I got for my birthday. It's called Captivating. It's about being a woman, and I'm enjoying it thoroughly so far. Girls - you should check it out. Ok, so I'm only two chapters into it, but I like it so far. I'll keep you posted.

I watched Ocean's Twelve this weekend. I really liked it. Rarely do I pass up an opportunity to spend time with Brad Pitt. But it was a fun movie. As a friend of mine said, "It's all about style." And I'm totally fine with that.

I got a haircut last week, and it seems to be well-received. I like it. It's short, layered, and easy. All in all, money well-spent. And my friends have complemented me on it....making me wonder exactly how badly I needed one....and how bad my hair was prior to the cut. But I'm past that, and enjoying experimenting with it. Good stuff!

I'm going to play my guitar today. Not normally a headline for anyone else. But I haven't played it in months, so I'm getting "taught" by someone at church. I'm really looking forward to having sore fingers in a few days. Wish me luck!

A rose by any other name...

The topics of baby names has always intrigued me. I found this article interesting. It's about how your parents probably chose your name because it made you sound like you'd eventually be successful. Then when you were probably about 10, everyone else started getting the same name and yours wasn't cool anymore.

Also, I'm now officially a quarter of a century old. It was a good quarter of a century, if you ask me. Hope the next one is equally riveting!

Finally, I have megapixels...

So for those of you keeping up, I finally purchased and received my Sony DSC-P200 digital camera. I wanted to order a red one, but couldn't find it anywhere I wanted to buy it. So I purchased an understated silver model, and couldn't be happier.

Granted, I've only had it in my possession for less than 24 hours. But I took over one hundred pictures last night while hanging out at a lacrosse game. When I got home and popped them onto the computer, I was more than pleased with the quality. Crisp, clean, clear, focused. I took pictures ranging from 3-7 megapixels, and am happy with all of them.

Action shots turned out great, night shots are ok (I need to work with the settings). I also splurged and got a 1Gb memory stick. Even with taking over 100 pictures (some with high resolution), I still had plenty of space. And the battery life so far seems to be good as well.

Happy I bought the camera? You betcha.

The monkey on my back, and other observations

So I finally bit the bullet and did my taxes. This is a major feat for me. My Everest, if you will. I have come away with one thought: I thoroughly enjoy Turbo Tax. No, I don't mind endorsing them. Well worth the money (and the discount, to you fellow ETrade users). They ask all the right questions, with all the right pretty buttons to click. Good show. This year the government owes me a whopping $250 bucks. Ideally, I'd like to get rather close to the "0" mark - I owe them nothing (pretty easy to stomach) and they owe me nothing (I didn't loan them free money). Last year I got surprisingly close, only owing them $27. It actually cost me more to do my taxes (~$40) than I owed. Whatever. It's over and I'm happy.

And then I found myself reading on CNN about former power players in the US economy. Where are they now? One of the comments from a "retired" Fidelity Fund Manager made me smirk:

"When he retired from managing Fidelity's Magellan fund in 1990, people said he'd be back. In fact, he never left: Lynch still keeps an office at Fidelity's Boston headquarters, though his client list has shrunk to his family and foundation. He works only part-time. (He spent some 100 days traveling the world with his wife in the past five years.) 'My method for picking stocks has never changed,' Lynch says. 'When businesses go from crappy to semicrappy, there's money to be made.'"

That amuses me.

Interesting detail

So I've had several conversations lately about Dubai. A friend of mine just went on a vacation there, Tiger woods practices golf from their tall buildings, they're trying to build a really tall building....etc. So those folks have also got another thing cooking - building islands. I'm not sure if I would be a huge fan of this idea or not, but I'm all for creativity.


Some Interesting Links:
satellite pictures...good detail on page 3.
More info
These look like the world!

Anyhow, I thought those were interesting. Apparently lots of folks vacation in Dubai. Would you?

Cash flow

So we recently got some financial rewards for working "for the man" in corporate America. So since I've been considering purchasing a digital camera for awhile (see here and here), I figure that I should strike while the iron's hot, so to speak.

Here's my progress:

• Sony DSC-P200: Really liking this camera. I went to a local electronics venue this weekend and played with several cameras for awhile. This was the one I liked the most. Quick, cute, small (and very friendly, I might add). Too bad that the only red one I can find online is at Sony....


• Creative Zen Micro: Oy, so yes, I might take the plunge and get an MP3 player. I hadn't even thought of it until this morning, when a co-worker gave me a rave review of the one that he purchased. And they come in so many colors....I'm a sucker. I know. But seriously, 2500 songs! And a radio? And a bunch of other stuff I'll likely never use? Irresistible.


• New resources: NewEgg...fun stuff. I'm surrounded by very technologically advanced individuals, and occasionally, they pass along snippits of info, like useful websites. Keep up the good work, gentlemen.

Wish me luck....

AHWOSG

So I've been trying to finish this book for quite awhile. A well-read friend of mine passed it along to me, to borrow, in hopes that not only would I enjoy reading it, but that I would someday return it to her. Well, you can finally have it back (you know who you are...). I actually started reading it awhile back, but when I moved (about 7 months ago), it was misplaced. Then, one day I was sitting next to a large bookcase in our house, and I happened to turn around and spot AHWOSG sitting right there, begging me to finish it. So I did.

Review - I found it entertaining, sad, funny, crude and interesting. If you like rambling, honest thoughts flowing down page after page, then this book is for you. If you don't mind somewhat profuse cursing, then you probably would be ok with this. However, there were some parts that I just couldn't stomach (mainly due to the language). It still made me laugh, and it made me believe that I really am sane (sigh of relief).

Any books you've read that you'd like to recommend to the general populous?

Moving on....since the "quiz" idea was so popular a few days back, try this on for size. I took the quiz and I am apparently a "Killer Bunny" (which, by the way, is my favorite part in that movie!). What is your Python rating? I got 7 out of 10.

Killer Bunny: you may appear soft, but you can be sharp and ruthless. Just watch out for booby traps, like trick questions, or the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.

On a slightly different note, I don't get it. But then again, I don't know what to compare it to. Check this article out about a poor turtle named Lucky. And seriously, if you even think that this image is on the shell of your turtle, why the heck do you name it "Lucky?!?"

A little research goes a long way

As aneurysms have thus far played a more important role in my life than would normally be expected, I thought I would take a moment to publish some information about what, exactly, they are. If you would have asked me ten years ago what an aneurysm was, I would have had no idea. At this point, however, I’m all too familiar with them and wish to enlighten you as well, if you’re interested.

An aneurysm is basically a widening spot in an artery due to a weak spot in the artery wall. Most of the time, they don’t have any impact to normal body functions. However, they can put pressure on nerves, cause vision problems, headaches or general pain. Sometimes they can rupture, causing all sorts of problems. Some ruptures can be repaired, but many are fatal.

Since we have arteries pretty much everywhere in our bodies, one might think that this could virtually happen to anyone, anytime, anywhere. It seems, however, that certain areas are more prone than others, yielding the following main types of aneurysms:

• Abdominal aortic: in the abdominal portion of the aorta


• Thoracic aortic: in the aorta itself


• Cerebral: in the brain


• Popliteal: in the leg


• Mesenteric: in the intestine


• Splenic: in the spleen

Not a whole lot of information is currently available about what really causes this to happen in the circulatory system. It is commonly known, however, that they do tend to be genetic. Other factors that have been linked to a higher incidence of acquiring or triggering an aneurysm include things like high blood pressure, smoking, excessive use of alcohol, and certain genetic diseases.

These don’t just happen to elderly folks like my grandmother (see previous posts). Sharon Stone had a cerebral aneurysm recently. And actor John Ritter died from an aortic dissection (a related condition). During my recent visit to the hospital, there were young kids that had recently had corrective surgery for similar conditions.

This stuff is scary, and I’m not trying to be the bearer of bad news here. I’m simply saying that you should be aware. Find out what kinds of things run in your family. Live healthy. Get off your couches every now and then and throw a Frisbee.

For more information:

• Brain Aneurysm Foundation


• Yahoo Health


• American Heart Association


• Brain Aneurysms

Tidal wave

So wow, you leave the internet all by its lonesome for a few days....then you check back and see a whirlwind of comments! Such a nice surprise on a rainy Monday morning. Good stuff all of you!

My feedback:
I would normally just reply in the comments, but there was too much going on, and I had a hankering for a full post.

• Katie - the "p" tag is a paragraph tag. Glad to know that you and Jim are HTML compatible :)


• Michael - I always knew there was something pure evil about you. Hmmmm, I was going to suggest we hang out soon, but in light of your HTML results, maybe not so much. Kidding.


• Mandy - yeah, you're not even close to being nerdy enough. But thanks for being my friend anyways. I'm nerd enough for the both of us.


• Jeanne - thanks for praying!


• Dom - you're welcome to steal my titles anytime you want...


• Everyone - this is so fun. Thanks for reading. Hope you don't mind being specifically addressed...

As for an update on my grandmother, she's doing really well. Mark and I went up to Dallas late on Thursday night, and had a safe trip (even after we talked for an hour at Bible study just before we left about the worst car accidents anyone had ever witnessed). Yeah, heart-warming, I know.

Anyhow, Vada (my granny), went into surgery on Friday morning. The surgery was supposed to take between 4-5 hours, but wound up taking about 6. She was in ICU for the next 30 hours or so, recovering from the surgery and doing quite well. The doctor said that the aneurysm was a bit bigger than he'd expected, but that he was able to repair all of the blood vessels around that area. (Because it's so important to me, I'll soon post a separate aneurysm entry with more information.)

She got her own room late on Saturday night and will be there until later this week. She's already walking around and cracking jokes. She's also on a fair amount of morphine, which really could make anyone pretty entertaining. I got a little shock-sickness apparently and almost passed out twice. But all was ok and I'm fine now.

God is teaching me a lot - namely that He made us with such intricate detail. And He maintains us, and has gifted certain people (luckily not me!) with the ability to stomach the idea of being people mechanics (oil change here, fix a flat tire there, and so on). I'm so glad that I'm not a doctor, but I have a newfound respect for everyone in the medical field. They really do a great job, and I'm so thankful for that.

Weekend highlights:

• Really good bar-b-que in a shady Dallas neighborhood


• Stalking a likely mental patient on the loose, also in the aforementioned shady Dallas neighborhood


• Failed attempt to hack into the UT Southwestern wireless network


• A series of victories in "full contact twister"

Jumbled thoughts

I started to write this in hopes to discuss a random link I found on a friend's blog, and I now find that there are a lot of things I'd like to write about. None of which, by the way, actually flow together. But hey, spaghetti thoughts can't be put into a logical pattern....

Topic A: What do we really share?
I briefly discussed this online and in-person with a friend who was debating about how open/honest/transparent/public to be in his corner of the internet. So now, as I sit here and compose this, I'm challenged by much the same question. I know of a handful of people that actually read this, but it's still almost cathartic to get thoughts down on "paper," no matter who is reading them. So there's a balance. I'm not going to sit here and summarize my life story, but I will sit here and write about certain life happenings. I hope we can all agree to that and move on.

Topic B: I read a bunch of old blog entries yesterday
So I found myself poking around online yesterday during a series of boring conference calls. Not only did I find out a lot about a friend, but I found some random links to some different sites. Like this one where you can generate a map of all the places you've traveled in the US, or even the world. Here's my map.

Here's another random, and more nerdy, link. Yes, you too can actually find out what HTML tag you are. If you're lucky, like me, you will wind up being the "guvnor." Here's a brief summary: You're the guvnor - without you, nothing would happen. No, really - you're fantastic! You keep everyone in order, and never ask for anything in return. Good job! Take the quiz and post back with which tag you are.

Topic C: Hmmm, what else is going on....
I'm traveling to Dallas this weekend to be with family as my grandmother has brain surgery. Yep, brain surgery. It sounds rather intensive, and could wind up with her in ICU for almost 5 days. But she's a spunky gal and I'm going up to see her before she goes into surgery. If you think about it, you can be praying for her. Thanks!

Topic D: Eclectic office music
I'm sitting in my fabric covered box (didn't read the article, but the cartoon cracks me up and is currently posted in my cubicle, as it has been since I started at this job almost 3 years ago...), wait, where was I? Oh yes, so I'm sitting at my desk, and there's a fair amount of hubbub going on a few aisles away. And it sounds like there's some sort of Polynesian music playing at varying volumes. And then a pause, then laughing, then some more musical strumming. What is going on? No idea, but if it keeps up (which the current forecast models dictate), then I'm going to have to go over there and snoop around.

Ok, that should do it for today. Thanks for hanging in there with me....

I like green, fortunately

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Don't get pinched!

Q: What's Irish and stands outside all day?










A: Paddy O'Furniture!!

Whoah there....

I awoke to a cold and rainy spring-ish day this morning. Not exactly the type of morning that makes you jump out of bed, ready to take on the next 20 hours of your life. But hey, at least the weekend was nice.

I was poking around CNN this morning during a very uneventful conference call, and I found this article about a girl who literally rides a mule to school. In North Dakota, no less! Good show, I say, good show.

And I took a gamble and clicked on the "Next Blog" button in the upper right, also while on the aforementioned conference call, and found this. I have no idea what it's about, seeing as it's in a different language, but I really liked the pictures.

On that same note, for those of you who are holding me accountable....no, I have not yet purchased a digital camera. I'm a slacker, yes, I know. I'll do it soon, promise! Thanks for bugging me about it....seriously.

Nice try, buddy

Cup of office coffee: $0.92
Tank of gas: $33.35
Fast food meal: $4.75
Getting hit on by the fast food clerk: priceless

I believe the scene played out like this:

Fast Food Clerk (FFC): “Here you go” (handing the food over)
Kimmie: “Thanks. Could I get some honey with that, please?”
FFC: (handing the honey) “Doesn’t look like you need anymore honey...” (as he grins)
Kimmie: “Um, thanks.” (tires screech as she pulls away quickly)

Guys, on behalf of all of the girls out there, I urge you, please don’t do this. It’s icky. You think it’s cute, but really, we just laugh to ease the social tension.

On the other hand, however, it is better than being called ma’am, so I guess I can’t complain. Best of luck to you.

Go light a bulb

A friend of mine sent me this article and I really liked it. It seems to fit in really well with a lot of things that God has been teaching me (and a lot of folks I know) regarding taking hold of the time that we have and making it more geared towards glorifying Him. Not that these scientists were necessarily motivated by glorifying God - I have no idea about that. But the bigger idea of taking your skills, your talents, your abilities, and your current situation (job, school, family) and being intentional about taking action to bring about good, to bring about change. I love it. I need to get off my tail and do something. I need to be as creative as possible. So do you.

On a different note, this weekend was glorious. I'm off to an early morning meeting, but I've got coffee in hand, so I should survive. How was your weekend?

Not much happening....honestly

Hey folks, long time no post, according to one of the faithful "kimmie" followers. It was pointed out to me last night at Bible study that I hadn't written anything in almost 5 whole days! So yes, I know you've each been clicking the "refresh" button since Monday, in hopes that maybe, just maybe, there would be something new that this here journal had to offer.

So here's my feeble attempt....

I'd like to suggest that there be a secondary exclamation point introduced to the English language. I, for one, use exclamation points pretty liberally! (yeah, I pulled a fast one on you and threw one in...) But seriously, I'm not always sure that the recipients of my punctuation really understand what I'm trying to communicate in each instance.

A few examples:

• Have a great day!
  
  I'm trying to say that I earnestly hope that the person has a great day. "Enjoy the day, my friend" if you will. Not a screaming command to HAVE A GREAT DAY!



• Watch out!
  
  This, on the other hand, would be a powerful warning to someone that there might just happen to be a rabid beast pursuing them.



• This tastes like cheese!
  
  Indeed, the item being described really tastes like cheese, and I'm excited to share that with those around me.

So you see the quandary, my friends. Three different scenarios, one punctuation mark. This vexes me greatly.

Suggestions to alternative punctuation are welcome. Share the wealth...

Changing my tune

So I'm sitting in the work cafeteria, since I'm currently splitting my time between several of our buildings, catching up from my three day weekend. No complaints about the weekend, although the right side of my body is still aching from four solid hours of dodgeball (two of which were in the pouring rain!). It was good fun, but also made it quite difficult to wake up today.

I mention the cafeteria simply because today they have an unusual selection of music playing over the speakers - a work soundtrack, if you will. The first five songs I heard upon perching at my small table next to the window were all from the king of Pop, Michael Jackson himself. Now, I'm not a die-hard Jackson fan, but who doesn't perk up upon hearing, "Bad" or "Billy Jean" at 8:15 in the morning, on a Monday no less.

So that got me thinking about my cell phone. I've had the same cell phone ring for the past 5 years. It was great - simple, peppy, and slightly unique (I've only heard 2 other people's phones ring with the same tone). Then I switched carriers (only to unswitch in the same day due to a large corporate merger!) and my new phone didn't have my tried and true ring. I was forced to pick a new tone, and I found something semi-decent that didn't make my skin crawl.

(Ooh - "Man in the Mirror" just came on! If you wanna make the world a better place take a look at yourself and then make a change!)

So now I'm thinking about updating my ringtone. Everyone and their brother has these complicated melodies, cutsie-tootsie theme songs, and the like. But I'm striving for uniqueness. Something like the Price is Right (a soundtrack which dominated much of my weekend, and something I became rather fond of!). Just something different. Something that says, "Yeah buddy, that's MY phone ringing. Don't even think about checking to see if it's yours, 'cause it's NOT!" (but I want to say that in a loving tone of voice, you know).

After perusing the selections on-line last night, here were the initial tunes that caught my ear:

• Beat It - Michael Jackson


• Superfreak - Rick James


• Brick House - Commodores


• Family Feud - Gameshow

Any other suggestions?

I also just found out that I currently do not have a boss. My now "old" boss just sent us all a note saying how lovely it was to work with us, and how he was hoping that our paths crossed again someday. And come to think of it, my name wasn't specifically mentioned on the latest "corporate reshuffle" email. Maybe I'll soon be fashioning my own personal "Help Wanted" sign later today, or worse, updating my resume!

(Ooh, now we're on to "Thriller!")

Wish me luck!

Animal Rights

Ok, please don't think of me as a calloused person, but laughed out loud when I heard of the other PETA referenced in this article. I've never had lobster before, now that I think about it. But this one looks like he could actually kill me.

Side note - when I was little and my mom would take me to the grocery store, I would always stop at the lobster tank and wave to the captives. I really thought their little antennae were waving back. Heck, they were ALL waving at me. They must have really liked me. Sometimes I still wave....

Weather patterns

I was thinking this morning about all that is going on right now, and my mind was drawn to Ecclesiastes. Ironically, a friend of mine has been pointing me there for the past several days, so a little repetition is never bad. Based on the idea that there are indeed seasons, I feel like I'm experiencing sort of a spiritual El Niño on a daily basis.

But God is good, and through this refining process we each become more like Him. I sat on my porch for awhile yesterday, enjoying the weather and the sunset, and I noticed the shrubs that we have next to the sidewalk. I did a wretched job of pruning them awhile back, but I noticed that on every branch, there was an array of small, shiny new leaves. How much more then shall we grow when God prunes us? Ugly branches like pride and doubt. All that stuff, though painful to lose, winds up being used for His glory.


"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace."

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8