And I've been reminded of that reason on a daily basis since my return. I think that people are now getting a bit tired of my "But I've been out of the country" excuse around the office. Ok, so I really don't use it that much, but for awhile, it did have some legs.
It's not that I don't love what I do. Ok, well maybe I don't necessarily love it, but there are certainly times when I don't like who I am when I'm in the office. And maybe God is using this trying time to refine me, who knows. I don't necessarily mind the long hours, but it's the general feeling of being incompetent that looms in the distance - that's the thing that keeps me up at night. I just have to keep reminding myself that when you're learning something new, it takes time, and it's not always comfortable.
On the other hand, my "to do" list keeps growing. Not task wise (like laundry, cleaning, car tune up, etc.) but a general "to do" list of life: books I want to read, adventures I want to take, people I want to get to know better. And I like that kind of list. I'm happy to add to it anytime.
Unfortunately, growing my career isn't necessarily on my current "to do" list, and that makes for daily challenges. Oh well. Maybe I just need another cup of coffee on this slow, cloudy Monday morning.
P.S. Last week, after a particularly emotionally-eventful conference call late in the afternoon, I went for a cup of coffee, hoping that it would calm me down. This, I believe, is a bad sign. Caffeine, last time I checked, isn't normally used as a sedative. It was more of a comfort food, I guess, but it made me laugh in retrospect.
P.P.S. I enjoy frequent use of the "P.S." In fact, I think that it should be used more often.
1 comment:
hrmm.. :-)
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