Ok, so I really wanted to title this post, "Snakes on a plane" in honor of the sure-to-be-classic movie that is coming out soon. But then there would have been all sorts of legal craziness, because the sheer volume that this site gets would indeed draw traffic away from the real site for the movie, and I just didn't want to mess with that.
Then I thought, what about "Snakes on a geometric plane" (because technically, that's what happened) but decided against it, namely so that Amar wouldn't have to deal with the embarrassment that comes along with marrying a total nerd like me.
So, what's the big deal, you ask?
I was attacked again last night. Nature has unleashed itself on me with all of its fury. And when nature decides that you're going down, there ain't nothin' you can do to fight back.
Please pray for me. Nature, my friends, takes no prisoners.
Last night, as Amar and I were about to commence invitation printing round deux, I was almost killed by a cursed, legless creature as it slithered around on the sidewalk (the aforementioned 'geometric plane') in front of Amar's office. We were entering the building when I paused to look back at a sign. When I turned around, I looked down to see a GIANT SNAKE between my feet, writhing back and forth. Apparently, snake etiquette says that you're supposed to freeze if and when this happens to you.
Whatever.
I screamed bloody murder and started hopping around trying 1) to get the heck outta dodge, 2) trying not to get bitten by this potentially venomous creature and 3) trying not to step on it.
After a few moments of screaming and flailing, I hauled it back to the parking lot, away from the sidewalk, only to see it slither off into the bushes.
CREEPY!!
What.is.going.on?
Oh, and this morning when I left for work, a brownish-green lizard was peeking at me from the window next to our front door.
I think he was a spy.
He just looked at me with his creepy little eyes, watching my every move. I have no doubt that after he saw me get into my car, he pulled out his little walkie-talkie and messaged out to his cronies, "She's on the move" at which point a whole army of creepy, crawly lifeforms moved into position for their next onslaught.
This is going to get ugly.
6 comments:
1. I do like the title
2. Remember there are impressionable future generationers reading your blog, what if calvin/owen/aiden/ari come to find out the true size of this venoumous creature with jaws of death I rescued you from.
Let's get something clear, my dear. There was no rescuing that I recall. There was you escaping into the building while I was left to fend for myself out in the wild.
I seriously think the snake was between 2-3 feet long.
:)
So his new nickname is "knight in shining armor", right? :-)
jack (who sits on my lap as I type) has certainly been influenced by this post into concluding - these people are really silly...
And remember... it's not the size of the snake that matters... it's the size of its FANGS!!!!
']-0,/////////////// fgg ,hyh
That last comment was from Jack.
Jack,
You need to start writing. As soon as possible. You obviously have a very unique point of view, and you want nothing more than to share it with the world. Why not start now? I'm honored to host what would seem to be your first keyboarding feat. Thank you for choosing Kimmie!!
Mandy,
Amen. Those fangs were HUGE and they were dripping with potent, life-ending poison. I saw my life flash in front of my eyes. I laughed, I cried, I flailed. Keep that kid away from snakes...especially if they're on a plane.
LOL - I had to replay this entire scenario to my office!
far from me trying to defend my own chivalry. I will let time and the silent evening that was my witness testify that I was truly the knight in shining armor.
The fangs were very bad mojo indeed. Evil enough to freeze the blood of the stoutest individual.
Jack,
I agree with Kim. I have not had the honour of meeting you in person but given your unique point of view, I look forward to our meeting.
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