Work and play

My team at work had an "offsite" yesterday. We typically have these every few months, and they range from being really painful to being really fun. I've helped plan a few, and let me tell you, the ones I plan are of the "really fun" variety.

Or, at least, that's what I've been told.

Hmm, I'll look into that.

Anyhow, yesterday we went to lunch and then went bowling. Now, you see, I took bowling in college. As a class. For credit. Am I an even bigger dork than you imagined me being? You betcha.

But, it was fun, and I didn't have to change clothes in the middle of a day full of classes back then, so it worked for me. And I got an "A" so there!

My co-workers found out that I had been trained in the art of bowling, and thus, the teasing commenced early yesterday morning. I kept telling them that I wasn't very good. That I hadn't bowled in ages. That I had no idea how to bowl. But they didn't buy it. They kept calling me a "ringer" and telling me that I was going to kick their collective butts.

Well, I did.

At least a little bit :)

I bowled my all-time highest game ever! You should know that I'm fiercely competitive, even about stuff that doesn't even matter. Stuff that's supposed to be light-hearted and fun? Yeah, I'd better win. Stuff that I've never even attempted to do before in my life, but the winner gets a cool ribbon? Sure, I expect myself to finish among the top few. So when the teasing started around the office, my secret desire to show off my skillzz started to heighten. But I played it cool. A strike, here, a spare there. And tada! I finished well above my average on both games.

Though my team didn't win (we averaged everyone's scores), I was still pleased with our performance. Sure, it did sting a little to not be awarded the top prize. And yes, I know it's all about being a team player. Though I was heckled, no insults came out of my mouth. Though I was mistreated, I showed kindness to the folks on the other team :) I was a good girl.

So here's to bowling. I guess my time and tuition in college finally paid off.

This internet thing is exhausting!

We all know that there is a wealth of information on-line ranging from aardvarks to zoology. There are "how to" articles on bar-be-que and vacuums. You can google pretty much anything and get a minimum of a million hits.

But, when a consumer, let's just say it's me for now, is trying to research a product for a potential purchase, where does she start? Let's say I'm trying to buy a washer and dryer. I do a little search on-line.

BAM!

13,800 results.

Thank you, Google.

I'm the kind of person who wants all the facts before I make a major purchase. I want to know what Consumer Reports says about the last 4 generations of the appliance. I want to know which store has the best price out of the 1,000 out there that sell the thing.

Are there any rebates? Any financing offers? Any delivery charges? Any scratch and dent discounts? I need to know before I hand over money.

But at some point I have to draw the line. I have to admit that I can only know so much before I really need to make a decision. I can only make so many spread sheets before the clear winner starts to emerge.

With such a vast body of knowledge available with relative ease, I feel at some level that it's irresponsible of me to not do all the research possible. I feel a burden of guilt if I don't walk out of the store with the absolute best appliance and the absolute best price.

Geez. That's a lot of pressure.

When did an asset turn into a liability?




But y'all, if you do know of a good washer and dryer out there, I'd love to hear about it :)

A brief little glimpse into my world:

Them: Build me a house.

Me: Ok, we can do that. Let's talk about the details.

Them: When will it be done?

Me: Again, let's talk about the details.

Them: How much will it cost?

Me: I can't give you a good estimate until I know what you want the house to be like.

Them: I want it to have a kitchen. When will it be ready?

Me: That's a good start. I have a few other questions for you about
the details.

Them: Look, I need this done in 15 days.

Me: (muffled laughter/panic)

Them: What? You're telling me you can't finish it in 15 days? When
will it be done? How much will it cost.

Me: Like I said earlier, I can't give you those numbers until we
know the specifics of the house you'd like us to build you. We have people working on other houses right now, and unless yours is more important that the others that are already in the process of being built, you'll have to wait.

Them: All I want is a small house! You're telling me that you can't just put together a house for me real quick?!?!

Me: That's correct.

Them: This is insane....when can you get my house done?

Me: Let's get some more of the details pulled together and I'll let you know what the estimates will be. What else do you need in your house? Where do you want it? Do you care about school districts, proximity to neighbors, size of the lawn, number of bedrooms?

Them: I want 3 bedrooms.

Me: Ok. Where do you want the bedrooms? What size should they be? Do you want them to have closets? Bathrooms? Carpet?

Them: I want them on the third floor.

Me: Oh, so you want a multiple-level house?

Them: Heck yeah! I thought you knew that already!!!

Me: You hadn't mentioned that detail yet.

Them: Well what's wrong with you?!

Me: I can't tell you what you want. I can help guide you through the process of figuring out what the details are. I can help form the team to build the house, and I can do everything possible to stick to the schedule and budget. But you have to fill in the details so that we can know exactly how long it will take to build it, and how much it will cost.

Them: There is so much red tape around here!

Me: I understand it's a lengthy process, but we have to know what we're building before we start building it.

Them: You people are crazy. I hate working with builders!

Me: Can we get back to the details of the house?

Them: I've had enough.

Me: We can still help you if you'll talk through some of this with us.

Them: I'm going to build it myself.

Me: I wouldn't advise that. Building a house is quite a complicated activity. It's best to get people on the team who have experience in this field.

Them: I'm outta here.

Me: Please let us know if there is anything else we can do to help.

***1 year later***

Them: My house is broken, can you fix it?

Me: We didn't build this house, so I'm not sure that we can fix it.

Them: But the house is in a neighborhood surrounded by other houses you've built. Can't you do something!?!?! This is an emergency!!

Me: I understand that there is a problem, but none of my builders have any idea of how this house was built. You built it yourself. We'll do what we can to help, but I can't guarantee that we can fix it.

Them: I'm suing your company.

Me: Please understand - we had nothing to do with the construction or maintenance of this property. You supplied the materials, the builders, the blueprint, the plans, the budget, etc. Our company is in no way related to the existence of this house.

Them: Blueprint?

And scene.

why? Why? WHY?!?

City of Austin,
I thought that you had come up with every possible way to thwart my commute home from work.

School zones? Check.
Ill-timed lights? Check.
Overcrowding of poorly-maintained streets? Check.

But this is just too much.

Why on EARTH would you schedule "rolling blackouts" that impact traffic lights during evening rush hour? Sidestreets? Clogged. Major intersections? Clogged. Exit ramps and cut-throughs? Clogged.

Yes, we know it's hot. It's been getting increasingly hot for the last 2 weeks. You knew this. You saw this coming. Why is this an emergency? And seriously - do traffic lights really use up that much energy?

The definition of an emergency.

(note the flagrant use of the word "unexpected"...)

Need we spell it out for you? Apparently...yes.

I paid my electricity bill today. Maybe you could take some of that money and put it to use beefing up the infrastructure around here? Just a thought.

Now, if you really need to save some energy, I can give you the name and address of my place of business. Feel free to make cuts there anytime tomorrow between 8-5. Believe me, it's fine with me and the rest of my co-workers. Have at it.

Thank you.

Adults say the darndest things

As I settled into work this morning with my cuppa coffee, I started catching up on some of the other blogs that I read. I don't remember how I started reading Finslippy, but she cracks me up. I think she was nominated for "best blog writing" for last year's bloggies, which is likely where I picked up her link.

Anyhow:

I was reading this post and really trying hard to keep my laughter to myself as I read through the comments.

I don't have kids. I want them eventually, but I do not currently have any of my own. However, if and when I do, I cannot wait to keep a journal of funny things that 1) I say to them and 2) they say to me and/or others.

It reminds me of one of my jobs in college. I worked at a campus library at A&M. Our office was situated right inside the main entrance, and though it was not our primary job role, we served as a makeshift help desk for the library. What do you get when you combine some sassy, bored college kids and a bunch of random patrons asking dumb questions all day?

A little black book.

We constantly kept track of the dumb questions/weird conversations/general hilarity that happened at the front desk. That black book served us well for years. It was the backbone of the camaraderie we felt with our co-workers. We would hand it off between shifts, everyone adding their own two cents.

Here, my friend Michael recounts one of the stories. It just so happens to be a story about me being stalked - very poorly.

Anyhow:

We had this supervisor that was _not_a_fan_whatsoever_ of the book. He lectured us that if any patron ever found it and started reading through it, all heck would break loose. But we were smarter than that. We changed the names to protect the *innocent* and just referenced people in our own special way. Characters like "British guy", "Creepy stalker guy" and "Flaky grad student" were the only "patron names" that anyone would ever find in there.

The battle was on. It was now our duty to protect our turf and our sanity. That black book kept us going on many occasions. Bringing life and humor to the darkest corners of the library. Ok, so maybe it wasn't that dramatic, but we didn't want to lose the book. We still have little reunions where we recount the silly tales of the library. Fun stuff.

Anyhow:
I'd like to keep a book like that when I have kids. Just to remember the fun times.

I can quit anytime. Just not today.

I'm not one to be obsessed with celebrities.

Sure, when I have some downtime in the cubicle, I read up on the MSN Gossip every now and then. And yes, I peruse the front pages of the "magazines" in the checkout line at the grocery store, but who doesn't?

But today, I've stumbled upon a couple of links that just crack me up. I have no idea why I keep clicking "next" on this site, but I do.

And then there's this one, which isn't so much a celebrity site, but is still funny, especially if you read it with a Spanish accent in your head.

And last but not least, there's this one. Somewhat sketchy, yes. Somewhat funny, also yes.

Enjoy!

Afternoon snack

I'm eating cranberries that have been dried and flavored to taste like strawberries.

What is this world coming to?

What I'm up to...notable, and not so much

• I'm back in the U.S.
• I'm still taking malaria medicine. Yuck.
• I'm spending quality time in my cubicle.
• I also spent quality time with my DVR last night.
• I'm caught up with Lost.
• I'm going to two weddings on Saturday. Crazy.
• I turn 26 in 8 days. Also crazy.
• I still have henna on my extremities, and it's staring to look like I have a skin condition.
• I'm caught up on sleep...or so I think.
• I'm once again thankful for U.S. bathrooms.
• My car is making a seriously scary squealing noise.
• I got a new hairdryer. Complete with ions. Fancy.
• I still fully enjoy MS Excel. A little too much.
• My bamboo plant is still alive after 2 weeks of neglect.
• I haven't worked out in 2 weeks. I'm scared to go back.
• I haven't been to church in way too long. I miss it.
• I get married in 135 days. Wow.
• I'm caught up on work email. A (small) victory.
• I still have unpacking left to do from India.
• Amar moves into our future apartment next week.
• I'm spending 8 hours at a golf course on Friday. For work.

That's all for now folks. Still alive. Still breathing. Ready to retire. You know, the usual.