What to get the girl who has everything?

Ok, maybe I don't have everything, but much like my approach to buying shoes, I don't often find myself wanting for much. However, I stumbled upon this today and I must say, I'm tempted.

I'm tempted more by the idea of ridding my house of bugs relatively pain-free. However, being the avid bugophobe that I am, even zapping bugs from arms-length might be too close for comfort.

I once came home to find a giant stink bug perched precariously above the door to my apartment. I stood a great distance from the creature, pondering what to do. Various ideas raced through my head. Given that we lived on the second floor at the time, I contemplated what it would take to scale the wall, climb onto the balcony and somehow break into our apartment. I entertained the idea of just waiting it out - me vs. the bug. I thought about calling for backup, but was not confident that any of my friends would arrive in a timely manner.

So I resorted to the following: I took my shoe off, lobbed it at the bug, hoping to dislodge it from it's temporary home. I wasn't trying to kill it, necessarily, but just wanted to scare it enough so that it would fly or crawl away. If it chose to crawl, I would just avoid it until I could safely enter my home. However, if it chose to fly, my plan was to flail about hoping that it wouldn't land on me. So I threw shoe #1. Much to my displeasure, not only did I miss the bug, but I also failed to even make it flinch.

Freakin' bug. You won't get the best of me.

So I took off my other shoe and tossed it as well. Again, failure on two counts: the bug was still alive and still sitting right above my door. So I sat. And I thought. What's a girl to do? I was shoeless, and I couldn't get into my apartment, nor could I break into it successfully.

I probably waited outside for a good 5-10 minutes. Nothing. No movement. No sounds. No progress. Maybe it was dead? Could I take that chance? Images of the bug getting caught in my hair flooded my mind. Even as I type this, I can feel the fear welling up inside me once again.

After what seemed like an eternity, I decided that I would make a break for it. I readied my keys, forming a battle plan in my mind. I mentally rehearsed the quickest way to open the door, run inside and slam it shut behind me, making sure that I wasn't followed in by the monster.

I counted to 10, said a quick prayer, and made a break for it.

SUCCESS!!

I was safely inside in my bug-free apartment. A little while later my roommate came home. As I saw her entering the apartment, I motioned to her to get inside quickly, as the bug might still be waiting to pounce on its next unsuspecting victim. She looked at me like I was crazy, which wasn't really anything out of the ordinary. Then she asked me what the heck I was doing and why my shoes were outside. I sadly recounted the whole story to her, and wouldn't you know it, the bug had totally disappeared. So at that point, I was a barefoot blabbering idiot. Hey, at least I'm consistent :)

Wow...that was quite a tangent. Needless to say, I'm not sure that the bug vaccuum would even work for such an extreme case any of the following: Acarophobia, Arachnophobia, Apiphobia, Entomophobia, Insectophobia, Isopterophobia, Mottephobia.

Wow. That's a lot. For more on phobias, check this out.

Happy Monday to my feet

I went shopping yesterday. Actually, Amar and I went shopping. And we had fun. We each bought each other shoes. And let me tell you, that has got to be the perfect date.

I'm wearing my new shoes at the office today. Sure, it's a little painful breaking them in, but that's the price you pay, right? And I love that some of the girls have noticed without me even saying anything. Love it.

It's funny, though, because I don't think of myself as a shoe person. Some girls go shoe-crazy! Their closets and floors are littered with dozens of pairs. I'm more of a minimalist. I buy things that I know aren't too trendy, fit well, are affordable, and that will go with a lot of things. So two pairs of brown, two pairs of black, and some shoes for the gym - I'm set. I often talk myself out of buying new shoes because "I already have some kind of like those" or "They don't go with very many things" etc. But I think there must be some sort of balance. I have been avoiding everything in my closet that goes with brown because I didn't have any brown dressy shoes. Literally, it's been awhile since I've worn some of that stuff simply because I was lacking in the shoe department.

But today, the other half of my closet has come to life!

No, I'm not advocating buying everything that you are even remotely interested in. But sometimes it's just fun to treat yourself. Yippee!

So happy Monday to my feet. I hope you're enjoying yourselves down there. You seem to be, from the reports I'm getting.

My Friday morning:

Alarm goes off at 5:45 AM.
I actually wake up around 7.
I get ready, make my lunch, and I'm out the door by 7:50.
I arrive at the office a little after 8.
I head to my desk, setup my stuff, and then go get breakfast.
Bagel, coffee, and the fixins.

As I sit at my desk and quietly eat my breakfast and catch up on email, I can't help but listen to a conversation two of my co-workers are having on the next cube aisle over. I strain to hear, thinking that I must be mistaken. But no, I'm not. There are actually two 50 year old men talking about Dancing with the Stars. And in detail!! Scary, probably accurate, detail. The phrases "He really is the best," and "She's easy on the eyes" were overheard.

Wow.

What a great start to a Friday :)

An open letter to the automated bathroom

Automated bathroom:
I'm not a fan of you. With your self-flushing toilets, your self watering sinks, your self-dispensing paper towels, and your self-squirting soaps. Not a fan at all. You wind up flushing at the wrong time. You wind up turning the water off on me when my hands are lathered in soap. You wind up making me wave my arms around like an idiot just so that one more paper towel might come out.

And I'm tired of it.

I can flush my own toilet. I'm pretty sure I can dispense my own soap and turn the sink on and off at the right times. And for the love, I can grab my own paper towels.

Please, just let me do it. Yes, I admit I do have a streak of wild independence in me, but let's not blame that right now. Let's consider, for once, that you are the control freak. After all, you won't let me even perform normal human functions on my own. You have to have your say in everything that goes on in the bathroom. Your close friend, the automatic door, is just fine in my book. Sometimes he's even helpful when I have a bunch of stuff in my hands, or after "arm day" at the gym when I literally can't lift my arm to open doors.

But you, on the other hand, are out of control. Sometimes you even make an eerie squealing sound before you flush, and for the life of me, that sound haunts me in my sleep. Maybe you're more sanitary. I'll give you that. But I think I may prefer getting sick to looking like a flailing idiot.

You, automated bathroom, are dead to me.

Theme song, party of 1

So my roommate Malita just blogged about finding a site that tells you your life's theme song. Check it out here.

#1 on the day I was born was "Call Me" by Blondie. I find this to be a somewhat unsuitable match, as talking on the phone isn't my favorite thing in the world. So I perused the lyrics to find anything at all that might apply to my life, that might give meaning to my existence. Alas, nothing. The girl just really wants the guy to call her.

Moving on to my life's theme song, which is the #1 song on your 18th birthday. Mine came out to be "All My Life" by K-Ci and Jojo. Well, it didn't take me long to find some really deep, meaningful stuff in that one. Who can argue with lyrics like:

• I will never find another luva sweeta than you
• I will never find anutha luva more precious than you
• Said, I promise to never fall in love with a stranger

It's seriously some touching stuff, yo.

What are your theme songs?

...again, total credit for all of the creativity inspired by today's post goes to Malita ;)

Remind me next year

If I tell you that I'm going to the grocery store on the night before Valentine's day, please restrain me. This place was an absolute madhouse. Upon entering, the senses were overloaded with reds and magentas as far as the eye could see.

And the people. The people!! On average, there were about 76 people per aisle. And that's not even mentioning the dairy section. Any why does the store choose to restock at 5:30PM? My good GOSH! It was crazy. I thought that there might be an impending freeze or power outage or national crisis. But no. It's a bunch of flowers and pink paper flying off the shelves and into the hands of people who should already know that they are loved and cared for.

And on that note, I do have a date tomorrow. But I have no idea where we're going. I do know that it might involve ice cream, and for that I'm thankful.

Another thing I'm thankful for is this. Yes, I know it's poking fun at a somewhat tragic event. But still, it made me laugh out loud.