Neighbors - we have a problem:

Until recently, our side of the duplex and their side cohabitated peacefully. We came and went at our own leisure, not really disturbing one another. We even occasionally brought in each other's trash cans. Sure, there was the occasional loud-stereo-featuring-Mariah-Carey-at-8-in-the-morning event from their side, but those were few and far between, so nothing too noteworthy.

However, the atmosphere is slowly changing. My sleep quality is slowly degrading, as are, I fear, our friendly neighborly relations. Let me set the scene:

It's late at night. I've just come home from a very long day, starting with a 6AM workout and ending with a 3 hour class until 10PM. I'm oh-so ready to have some quality time with my pillow. I enter my room, ready for bed, and I hear a very subtle sound coming from somewhere. I figure that it's just a car or a plane, and dismiss it. Upon crawling into my bed, I settle in between the featherbed and the down comforter (overkill I know, but soooo comfy). All is well and I turn the lights off and shut my eyes. But wait! There it is again. That dreadful noise! Whatever could it be? No. It couldn't...it CAN'T be! NO ONE SNORES THAT LOUD!!! It's coming through the wall. It's invading my quiet, peaceful room!! It's loud, irregular, and did I say loud? and.it.lasts.all.night.

Seriously. This guy (I'm assuming it's a man - sue me) needs some professional help! It's there when I go to sleep, it's there when I wake up. The snoring just won't cease. I put the pillow over my head, but no, this guy has some serious decibel power going on over there. Sure, there could be worse sounds coming through the walls. But the snoring is just excessive.

I'm contemplating anonymously mailing some of those nose-strips. I've even mentally composed a customer letter to accompany the box that I would slip into their mailbox. Would he get the hint? What's a girl to do? I can't just get up, waltz over there in my PJs and ask him to kindly roll over, can I?

Whew. Now that the snoring issue is out of my system, it's onto my next soapbox: an open letter to the owner of the low-rider truck that constantly parks in front of our house. Dude - you can't even go over a simple speed bump in that thing because the ground clearance isn't even higher than the bottom of the rims on the low-profile tires you've got on it. What's the deal? Please, please, get a real car. We're begging you. And when you do get a real car, please park it in front of your own house. We thank you in advance for your efforts to help keep our neighborhood at peace.