Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Open letter to my computer

This week I'll be posting a series of open letters to various entities/people in my life. Let's begin with an open letter to my computer.

Computer,
We've been together for quite some time now, going on about two years. It seems that in your old age, you have gotten a little moody. Know this, computer, that behavior will not be tolerated over the next four weeks.

It's crunch time, baby. I will have none of your random blue screens of death. There will be no poor performance. There will be a zero tolerance policy for data loss and/or hard drive crashes.

And that new motherboard of yours? You better get to know it really well, because that's all you're getting. I get you a spiffy new hard drive last month, and then you have the audacity to start complaining about your motherboard? I've had it! You, my friend, will make due with what you have.

You will open spreadsheets when I ask you to, especially if they are work or wedding related. You will display web pages promptly when asked. You will dock/undock when asked. You will recognize that you have a touchpad mouse, and it will function properly at all times. You will not lock up. Period. And you will clean your room!

If you fail to comply with any of these, your health and well-being are at stake. This is war, my friend, and you're either with me or against me.

Sincerely,
The person on whom your existence is totally dependent

5 comments:

amar rama said...

if I were you, I would whisper instead of yell with authority. The computer God's are extremely finicky.

Anonymous said...

You could always get a Mac... *pats his powerbook*

:)

noell said...

How's that workin for ya?! Hope that i see that computer and all it's working parts together next week! I'm worried about it's little bit life!

kimmie said...

We've had a few minor bumps, but luckily nothing major in the last 48 hours.

Lippy said...

If I were there I'd give it a piece of my mind! You tell it Kimmie!