Sometimes I'm just not

Sometimes I'm just not interested in making small talk.
Sometimes I'm just not pumped about cleaning my room.
Sometimes I'm just not really excited about journaling.
Sometimes I'm just not motivated enough to get up and get lunch.
Sometimes I'm just not terribly excited about going to class.
Sometimes I'm just not worried that I haven't fully caught up on work email.
Sometimes I'm just not willing to pay hundreds of dollars for invitations.
Sometimes I'm just not hungry.
Sometimes I'm just not ok leaving the house without making up my bed.
Sometimes I'm just not disgusted by the state of the bathroom.
Sometimes I'm just not horrified to leave the house without showering.
Sometimes I'm just not upset that I can't please everyone.
Sometimes I'm just not embarrassed that I haven't washed my jeans in 2 weeks.
Sometimes I'm just not willing to sit down and make a five year plan.
Sometimes I'm just not satisfied with 4 cups of coffee.
Sometimes I'm just not.

No worries. I'm totally fine. I promise. Just a little introspective today. How are you?

Neighbors - we have a problem:

Until recently, our side of the duplex and their side cohabitated peacefully. We came and went at our own leisure, not really disturbing one another. We even occasionally brought in each other's trash cans. Sure, there was the occasional loud-stereo-featuring-Mariah-Carey-at-8-in-the-morning event from their side, but those were few and far between, so nothing too noteworthy.

However, the atmosphere is slowly changing. My sleep quality is slowly degrading, as are, I fear, our friendly neighborly relations. Let me set the scene:

It's late at night. I've just come home from a very long day, starting with a 6AM workout and ending with a 3 hour class until 10PM. I'm oh-so ready to have some quality time with my pillow. I enter my room, ready for bed, and I hear a very subtle sound coming from somewhere. I figure that it's just a car or a plane, and dismiss it. Upon crawling into my bed, I settle in between the featherbed and the down comforter (overkill I know, but soooo comfy). All is well and I turn the lights off and shut my eyes. But wait! There it is again. That dreadful noise! Whatever could it be? No. It couldn't...it CAN'T be! NO ONE SNORES THAT LOUD!!! It's coming through the wall. It's invading my quiet, peaceful room!! It's loud, irregular, and did I say loud? and.it.lasts.all.night.

Seriously. This guy (I'm assuming it's a man - sue me) needs some professional help! It's there when I go to sleep, it's there when I wake up. The snoring just won't cease. I put the pillow over my head, but no, this guy has some serious decibel power going on over there. Sure, there could be worse sounds coming through the walls. But the snoring is just excessive.

I'm contemplating anonymously mailing some of those nose-strips. I've even mentally composed a customer letter to accompany the box that I would slip into their mailbox. Would he get the hint? What's a girl to do? I can't just get up, waltz over there in my PJs and ask him to kindly roll over, can I?

Whew. Now that the snoring issue is out of my system, it's onto my next soapbox: an open letter to the owner of the low-rider truck that constantly parks in front of our house. Dude - you can't even go over a simple speed bump in that thing because the ground clearance isn't even higher than the bottom of the rims on the low-profile tires you've got on it. What's the deal? Please, please, get a real car. We're begging you. And when you do get a real car, please park it in front of your own house. We thank you in advance for your efforts to help keep our neighborhood at peace.

How I became a coffee snob

It was innocent enough, at first. I used to be just fine with popping open the Folgers and brewing a few cups here and there. Sure, it wasn't the best thing in the world. But it was cheap, easy, and widely available. And plus, haven't we always been told that the best part of waking up is indeed Folgers in your cup? So yes, I subscribed to that worldview....until recently.

You see, my friend Jim started roasting and selling his own coffee awhile back. I didn't initially give much serious thought to purchasing from him, though I was tremendously excited to see his business grow, as I am with other friends who are earnestly trying to turn a passion in life into something financially productive.

I emailed Jim a bunch of brainstormed ideas about publicity for his emerging brand. I had grand visions of coffee tasting parties and the like. And I liked reading a bit on his site about what he was up to, roasting-wise. But I hadn't ever purchased anything from him.

This past weekend, however, things changed. I helped host a girls brunch for our career class at church. I had asked various people to bring brunch items: fruit, eggs, biscuits, etc. I got to thinking a bit, and it occurred to me that this would be a neat time to try some McClarty coffee. I'd have enough people to warrant buying 1/2 a pound, and if it was a hit, a bunch of people would enjoy it and they might buy from Jim. I never expected it to turn into anything more serious.

So I emailed Jim about the order, and I headed over to his place on Saturday morning to pick it up. Much to my surprise, he handed me a Bell jar of whole coffee beans. Well, I wasn't prepared for such a delivery. Somewhere in the back of my head, I guess I had thought that it would already be ground. So from his house, I headed off to buy a grinder. "Why not?" I asked myself. I'll need it someday.

Soon, the coffee and the grinder were in hand, and the brunch was underway. One of the girls taught me how to grind the beans appropriately, and the aroma of fresh coffee filled the room. I could tell that people were excited to try the coffee, so we wasted no time in filling mugs for everyone once it had brewed.

To get the word out a bit, I made these little notecards with Jim's website on them, so that people could place orders if they were fond of the coffee. Several girls, after sampling their beverages, took the cards. I put in many good words for Jim :) The girls were quite fond of the coffee, and there was some mention of the appropriate use of essential oils during the roasting process....this comment was lost on me. I drink the coffee, I don't make it. But good for those who know more about it than me...

Anyhow, I took about 1/2 of the coffee beans home with me, because unfortunately for us, the coffee maker stopped working after 2 pots. Ha - more for me! Or so I thought. The coffee was safely stowed away in my fridge for the remainder of the weekend, and I informed my roommates that they were welcome to try it. When I came home the next day, Malita was raving about it. She said that after her first two cups, she almost made more because it was so good.

Alas, I cannot settle for Folgers any longer. You should give it a try too. Just for a week. And yes, this is an infomercial ;)

Week in review

So to keep tabs on myself after I outlined some goals a few days back, here's a status check on how I'm doing.

Read More
Right. Here's the hard one. Haven't quite yet picked up the Piper book this week. Maybe some downtime this afternoon or over the weekend.

Sort my mail
Thanks to some much needed prompting by Malita, I have kind of kept up with this one. I'm hoping to pick up a filing box this weekend and start putting things in their proper place. But the mail basket hasn't overflowed to the extreme that it did last month. So I consider this a mild success.

Get into shape
Thanks to my old roommate and personal trainer Lindsay, I've worked out 3 times this week so far. Twice we did weights, and then I did some light cardio. Several of my muscles were actively complaining, but they'll just have to deal with it. Was it hard? Yep, at times I really wanted to put the weights down and walk away. But I know that I have to stick with it.

Take better care of myself
Thanks also to Lindsay, I've been trying to stick with my meal plan this week. I haven't done a stellar job, but I have eaten more than I usually do. I've also tried to concentrate on the "smaller meals more frequently" idea, and I'm liking that a lot. The hardest part is the lunches and dinners. I will give myself kudos to the breakfasts and snacks :)

In other news, I've got a new roommate. She's probably 80% moved in. It's fun to change things up a bit, and I'm excited about the new house dynamics :)

This weekend I'm hosting a girls brunch for church, and given my love for all things breakfast, and my desire to get to know some of these girls better, it should make for a good Saturday morning. Oh, and I'm looking forward to my Christmas gift from Lindsay, which consists of a chef-prepared meal at her new house. Very yummy! Other than that, it should be a low-key weekend, which I'm excited about. The only bummer is that it's likely going to rain the whole time :( Yes, we do need the rain, but why does it have to come on the weekend. Bummer.

Quick (semi-rhetorical) question

Would it be considered rude to anonymously mail someone a card to a therapist? It would be a gesture of love wrapped in slight sarcasm (with a stamp and an envelope, of course!).










Ok. Yes. I know the answer. But it at least felt good to write about it. There. It's outta my system.....sort of. And no, it is not for any of you. Promise.

Not so much resolutions, per se...

There's a growing list of things I'd like to accomplish during 2006. Rather, a list of things I'd like to improve about my life in general. Seeing as it's the season to make lists, and everyone else is doing it, I'm going to (temporarily) jump on the bandwagon.

Read more
Everywhere I look, people are putting out lists of things that they read last year. Some of these lists top 40 books or so. And some of their goals for 2006 are even higher. And now that I'm engaged to a voracious reader, I feel that I have to jump start my own personal reading life. Last year I read practically nothing. But when I did finish a book (which happened with very low frequency) I felt so good! I read a book! Yes, I felt like a first grader, but it was still a good feeling. I have a few on my list that I'd love to tackle. Keep me accountable, people.

Sort my mail
In a mad dash to locate my healthcare card, I did a clean sweep on my room this past Sunday afternoon. After an hour and a half, I had filled an entire "tall kitchen" trash bag full of junk mail, catalogs, mass mailings, utility bills and the like. Typically, my pattern as of late has been to avoid the mail basket for as long as possible until 1) I desperately need an important legal document (i.e. insurance card, health card, etc.) or 2) something interesting comes in (i.e. wedding invitation, Christmas card, etc.). Well, I refuse to let it get that bad again. My goal is to go through all of my mail at least once a week. My stretch goal is to do it everyday. We'll see how it goes.

Get into shape
Yes, I know that everyone spends all of January working off the holiday pounds, so this goal isn't necessarily revolutionary by any means. But I have a different problem. Some people consider me lucky to be fighting to gain wait. But I don't see it as any kind of luck. Yes, I'm underweight. And yes, it's a health problem. Within the first year after college, when I started my first "real job," I lost 15 pounds. I don't have 15 pounds to lose, however, so this wasn't necessarily good. Instead of responding to stress by eating a lot, I tend to do the opposite. I quit eating. So as of yesterday, I gave a local gym and a former roommate-turned-personal-trainer a lot of money. I am hoping to gain healthy weight, put on some muscle, and get into the kind of shape I was in when I played sports constantly.

Take better care of myself
This goes hand-in-hand with the "get into shape" goal. I want to eat healthy, filling, regular meals. So along with the working out, I will be pairing that with meal planning by the aforementioned former roommate. I'm also going to quit biting my fingers/fingernails. This is also stress-related, like the eating. I've done it for as long as I can remember, but now that I have some fancy new jewelry to show off, I need to get my hands into shape, too.

I think that's it for now. I'll keep you posted on the progress. Here's a summary of the first 10 days of January:

• Reading: still working on "Don't Waste Your Life" with a goal to finish by the end of the month (I figure I'll start slow and then ramp up)...post other reading suggestion in the "Comments" at any time, if you have them :)
• Mail: haven't fallen behind yet, but looking to get a formal filing system in place soon
• Working out: joined a gym yesterday, workouts to commence next week
• Taking care: fingers at about 90% good (10% per finger [so all are in good shape except one, for now]); meal planning is starting this week

News to me

Apparently I'm already supposed to have the entire wedding planned. Yep. Engaged for 13 days, and it's supposed to be ready to roll. In the past 2 days alone, no less than 4 MEN have asked what my colors are. What the heck? I don't have colors yet. Are you insane? Or am I just missing something?

I don't have colors. I don't have a date. I don't have a place. I don't have a wedding party. I don't have a dress. I don't have a florist or a photographer. Nor do I have shoes, showers, registries, or all of the other accoutrements that are supposed to go along with all this.

Oh, and as of 8:15 this morning, I have no half and half for my coffee.

BUT - all is not lost. What I do have is time. And for that, I'm thankful :) I'm also thankful that God continues to remind me that I am surrounded by some amazing friends!

Seemingly insurmountable task on my doorstep

That's what it seems my primary task at the office seems to be today: the dreaded end of year self assessment. I.e. "How did you do over the past 12 months as measured against the stuff we asked you to do based on these metrics and objectives?" So basically, since I haven't quite kept detailed notes on everything I've done since last February, I'm wracking my brain, digging in my archived folders, and doing a good bit of creative writing.

But heck, I like writing, especially when I get to use buzzwords freely. Some of my favorite today seem to be: ensure, effectively, leveraged, interfaced, requirements, communicate, and last but not least - foster. Yes, it's fluff. But it's the bubble wrap that surrounds an important list of vital facts that management should handle with care. It's fluff with a purpose, and that purpose happens to be that I remain employed.

Everyone - cross your fingers.

P.S. I discovered last night that I'm now increasingly covered in small red spots. More on this breaking news as it become available.

A new year

It seems that with the start of the new year, the internet is virtually littered with "My year in review" and "My top 10 of 2005" lists, with the occasional "My resolutions for 2006" and on, and on. No offense to any of those people - those lists are all worthy of gracing browsers globally. So originally, I thought that I would rebel and post absolutely nothing of the sort. No review, no top 10, no list of promises to myself that I'll eventually break. Nada.

Then I started thinking about my year in review. Life was busy. Life was packed with stuff and people and things and places. Life was both good and bad, easy and hard. All in all, a lot happened over the last 12 months. I don't know if I'll make a top 10 list, or define a specific set of resolutions I want to make for 2006. But I do think that it's valuable to reflect on where you've been.

That's the same reason I keep a prayer journal. It's so neat to be able to look back and see how God has grown, challenged, matured, pruned, encouraged, guided and protected you. And looking back at 2005, I can see all of that.

There were breakups and makeups (and then breakups again)...
There was travel between continents...
I saw my family brought together by near tragedy and divided by sheer joy...
I saw a 50 year old man get a wedgie at family Christmas...
And I saw God continue to refine me and show me how much he loves me...





Oh, and I saw a beautiful diamond ring get slipped on my finger a few days ago...and I said yes!

So as the new year starts, just like everyone else, I want to read more, to be healthier, to enjoy life more, to cherish relationships more, and all that jazz. But mostly, I want to grow. I want to mature. I want to be refined again and again.

I just realized that this little blog is almost a year old. Hopefully I'll remember to get it a card or a little present. I'm always bad at remembering birthdays...

Zero progress

That's how far I've come thus far on my Christmas shopping. I don't even have a list yet, nor do I know who I'm buying for. But yes, I understand that it's not about the gifts, or even the quality time. It's about celebrating the birth of our Savior. And for that, I need no gift card, no wrapping paper, no curly ribbon. I need a humble, reflective, quiet heart. And I can't wait to be free from work so I can focus on just that.

I have one more day left "in the office," but I plan to work remotely. No meetings, no conference calls, no worries. My desk is clean and largely paperwork-free. For that, I'm quite thankful. I'm also thankful for flexible hours this time of year, which reminds me that some of the not-so-flexible times of the year allow for an easier holiday time for me. All good things.

Anyhow, I hope the time is treating you well. Enjoy your travels, your time with family, and your time unwinding. Oh, and for those of you in the Austin area, forget about a white Christmas. It's supposed to be 70 degrees. Woo hoo! Get out your flip flops!!

Ah, I love the holidays

Especially when they contain magical surprises, which this one most certainly will. Actually, I already kind of found out the biggest surprise of all - I'm going to New York. That's right, people, New York city. Ooooh, I LOVE it! I went twice while in high school, right around mid-March. It was so cold and blustery there during that transitional Spring time. I can only imagine how cold it will be during the week after Christmas. But it's totally worth it!

I'm now busy looking up shows to go see, stores to swing by, interesting "New Yorky" things to do. All that jazz. So if you have any suggestions, please do let me know. I'm so excited - beyond words, really.

There is just something enchanting, it seems, about New York at Christmas time. Or at least, that's what the movies would have us think. And I'm a sucker for movies. So I'll likely get to stroll through Central Park, as it's fields, trees and paths will be blanketed in snow. I'll get to see the giant Christmas tree in Rockefeller center, twinkling it's branches at me. Oy, I can't wait!!

New York suggestions? Leave me a comment.... :)

Following instructions

It's always nice to look down at the box of cookies you happen to be consuming and read something like this:

Distinctive cookies are available in a number of exquisite varieties for the many reasons you deserve to treat yourself right every day.

Yep, I'm just doing my part here, folks. Just treating myself right, like I'm being told to do.

Meanwhile, it's twelve days until Christmas and I've bought exactly four gifts. I have no idea how many people I even need to buy gifts for, but I'm quite sure that it's WAY more than four. I at least know what two of the remaining gifts will be, but all the rest...well, I'm pretty clueless. However, I am finding that shopping for others often winds up as shopping for me, so I probably need to keep on keeping on.

Repeat to self: 'tis better to give than to receive...'tis better to give than to receive...'tis better to give than to receive...

I finally found my sweaters

Apparently, in a rush to organize my closet last spring, I neatly packed away all my "winter wear." And I did a really good job of it, because I couldn't find it this week when the temperatures started dipping into the 20s. Wow, it was crazy cold. Why does this change in weather always happen in a matter of hours? I've talked to several people who were wearing summer clothes earlier this week, only to don their parkas in the midst of yesterday's ice show. Insane.

And apparently this weekend it's supposed to get into the 60s. Seriously - PICK A SEASON!! I can't handle wearing long-johns in the morning, and flip flops in the afternoon. I physically can't keep up with the amount of laundry required to dress oneself during such dramatic climactic shifts.

And for those of you keeping up...this will likely be the last installment of the "Kim's Tips" segment - as I know that you just can't stand for such blatant displays of my brilliance to continue:

I got a new business cell phone for work, but for the life of me, I couldn't remember the number. I'd write it on my hand, email it to myself, keep a piece of paper with me at all times that had the new number....but none of those efforts made any significant difference in my apparent memory deficiency.

So I got to thinking one day - how could I easily keep the number with me in an accessible manner? Could I somehow leverage the camera that was on the phone already? What if I wrote the number down, then took a picture of it, and then saved that picture as the wallpaper on my phone? Brilliant! Now, whenever I need the number, I just flip open the phone. If I need to give someone else the number, I can just show it to them on the phone itself.

Yep, I'm pretty cool. Go ahead and admit it....

Helpful tip

For the past several weeks, I've noticed that despite all of my best intentions, I continue to leave my lunch at home when I head off to work in the mornings. When I wake up each morning, I think, "Don't forget your lunch!" And each day I try to grab it on the way out the door, I forget. I even had to call my roommate one day to ask her to put my abandoned lunch back in the fridge, because I left it sitting out (so that I wouldn't forget it...).

This morning I decided that I needed a new approach. I started wondering about the absolutely necessary items that I had to have before leaving the house, figuring that if I could link the lunch and the necessary item, I was set. Items that immediately came to mind were clothing, computer, keys, and wallet. But how could I link the two items? Wouldn't most people just put a note somewhere? What was a girl to do?

And then it hit me - put my keys in the fridge on top of my lunch. Were the keys cold by the time I was ready to leave for work? You bet. But was my belly full with tasty fried rice a lunchtime today? Most certainly it was.

And that, my friends, is the helpful tip of the day. I have another one to share in the near future....but I'll leave you in suspense for now :)

The bottom line

Money: I've been thinking about it a lot. I guess it comes on the heels of considering how exactly I'll spend my holiday dollars, but it got me thinking. Why do I manage my money the way I do? Not that I'm sitting on a small fortune or anything, but I want to be a good steward of what I'm responsible for, you know?

Somehow, thanks mostly to my parents (and possibly my conservative, Christian schooling as a child), I wound up with pretty strong will power when it comes to spending. But God, in his patient, loving way, is showing me that I put a little too much stock in my stock, if you will. He's showing me that I derive a lot of my feelings of safety and security from seeing a certain number on an online statement. So He's working on my heart in that manner.

But while I've been good at saving, I have practically zero credit history. So while I tend to be proud of my ability to pinch my pennies, I found out yesterday that American Express is not impressed. And yes, it was a blow to my pride. But a necessary one, I think. I don't know what made me put all this out there, but I think it's something we all struggle with to a certain degree. So there, that's my two cents. Thanks for letting me get on one of my many soapboxes.

By the way, for those of you in the Central Texas area, I hear it's going to get what we call "pretty nasty" tomorrow. Freezing temperatures, blustering winds and possibly some ice. Stay safe!!

Alert: Slacker on the internet!!

A lot can happen in 32 days. Yes, it has actually been 32 days since I've posted. And yes, I fully own up to the fact that this is simply unacceptable in the eyes of my beloved readers. To the three of you, my very sincere apologies. Please, can you find it in your hearts to forgive me?

What does one choose to write about after an "extended" absence? The pressure is killing me, I'll admit that much. I guess I'll give a brief primer about what life has had to offer over the past month or so.

• Finished up work on the Katrina relief effort called housestohomes
• Worked like a crazy person on 6 different deployments
• Went on a few dates...
• ...and subsequently gave my parents a good scare about upcoming life developments
• Was a bridesmaid for the nth time
• Got hooked on another stinkin' tv show
• Contemplated buying a new car*
• Celebrated Thanksgiving with the family

I guess that's a good high-level. It seems a lot simpler "on paper" than it did to live through. But God is indeed good. I have no complaints.**

This weekend, I'm off to enjoy some festive entertainment. A movie, breakfast with a friend, an afternoon at the museum, a big fire, church and Bible study. All in all, the pace never slows, nor does it skip a beat.

What's going on with you?

*Please note that this impending purchase is not out of frivolity or excess, but sheer need. My car is dying a slow, noisy, sputtering death.

**Please note, some of you would disagree on this point. Please keep your comments to yourself...or at least to the comments section of this site.

It's late...no, it's early

And I can't seem to sleep. Yes, I know we gained an hour tonight, and I would normally be spending that additional quality time with my pillow. But I just can't sleep. No idea why. I've got 100 things running through my head right now. Most of them are really good. They make me almost giddy, in a way. I'm not complaining - but I'm sure by the time this evening rolls around, and I've put in a few hours of work, a few hours of play, and a few hours of study, I'll likely be dying to get back to my bed.

I worked last night as well. It went really well, actually. I used to think it was almost silly to pray about work, in a way. But God probably thinks I'm silly in general, so why not leverage that!? He blessed that time, and I'm praying that He does so later this morning as well.

After work last night, I contemplated running up to the neighborhood coffee shop, reading, and chilling out with some decaf. But upon returning to my abode, my couch and my DVR were looking mighty good. So I watched Gilmore Girls - it made me laugh. Then I started to watch Alias. Wow. It made me laugh, too. Unfortunately, the writers probably didn't intend that. I haven't finished the episode, but can't wait for the comedy to continue.

Of the brief moments I did see, this had to be my favorite line:

(read it with a gruff voice and squinted eyes, as you pretend to be a super-secret-under-cover CIA agent who is "really tough")

"My mother always said, if somebody was worth shooting once, they were worth shooting twice."

Ok - please tell me that at least made you smirk. It made me and my roommate laugh out loud. J.J. - is this the best you've got? Ugh!

The sweet stuff

If you will recall in my previous post, from time to time I enjoy a good chocolate. And once again, Dove has come through with flying colors. The messages this time even prompted me to note that I was starting to prefer these little delectable bites more than the (in)famous fortune cookie (which I have been known to consume in mass quantities).

Words of wisdom for Tuesday:

"Don't think about it so much."
"Laugh uncontrollably...it clears the mind."

So applicable on so many levels. There have been several circumstances recently that, upon reflection, cause me to laugh uncontrollably. There's nothing better than sitting in the middle of a meeting you're running, recalling a recent humorous event, and then just breaking out the biggest smirk on your face as you fight back the growing desire to just lose it altogether. I'm glad I have co-workers who can laugh with me. Ok, sometimes they laugh at me, but what do I care.

And about not "thinking about it so much," I think we can all take that to heart. Again, there have been several circumstances lately that have just sent my mind spinning (yes, some of these circumstances are related to those that make me laugh uncontrollably, but I digress). The mind is a funny thing, my friends. Best of luck taming it this week....

Trapped, but not for long

This psalm was in my head today. I'm stuck in cubicle land for a few more hours, but I literally cannot wait to get outside, take my shoes off, squint my eyes into the sun and feel the breeze. I don't know where I'm going after I get "off work" but I know that it will likely include a caffeinated beverage, a book, and wireless internet access.

And given this town, that only limits my options to about 50 different places. Love it!

This weekend is packed full of good things, and I'm really looking forward to it. I hope you're looking forward to your weekend as well. Enjoy the outdoors and the God who made it!

Star Performer

This man is the bane of my Cranium existence. Who the heck knows how to impersonate W.C. Fields?! Especially at 1AM? It's ok, I'm over it. Kice and I won anyways. Yay!

After reading more about him, I'm kind of glad I wasn't able to impersonate Mr. Fields.

Notable Quotes:

• A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
• I am free of all prejudice - I hate everyone equally.
• I never vote for anyone, I always vote against.
• Start off every day with a smile and get it over with.

Interesting stuff....